Crazy about men on September 21, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

Ok, so here’s the deal. I love sex, I love men and I love life. What I don’t want is a committment. I don’t want a boyfriend. My roommate says this makes me dysfunctional and self-destructive. She disapproves of my (safe) one-nighters or casual sex relationships. I say it is perfectly healthy … the reason I don’t want to have a relationship with anyone is because I have not yet met the man who deserves me. I am a great girl — smart, funny, generous, pretty (ok, I’ll stop, sorry) — and confident. I need a man who can handle all that and live up to some pretty high standards. Relationships, as you well know, take time and effort and a great deal of respect, trust and committment. Why should I give all those very precious things to someone unworthy? So what I’m saying is that I am 20 and I have a lot of life to live — so there’s nothing wrong with filling that life with beautiful men who make me happy, if only for a night (no — I don’t have any feelings of unfulfillment), lovely poetry and moonlit nights? What do you think? Am I delusional? Am I ok? Am I heading for a very large mid-life crisis and an exorbitant therapy bill?

— Siobhan

Dear Siobhan,

No, you’re fine. So are standards. Just make sure of one thing: when he comes along, will you actually let him in?

Love,
Breakup Girl