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March 2

Should I be committed?

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:13 am

Crazy about men on September 21, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

Ok, so here’s the deal. I love sex, I love men and I love life. What I don’t want is a committment. I don’t want a boyfriend. My roommate says this makes me dysfunctional and self-destructive. She disapproves of my (safe) one-nighters or casual sex relationships. I say it is perfectly healthy … the reason I don’t want to have a relationship with anyone is because I have not yet met the man who deserves me. I am a great girl — smart, funny, generous, pretty (ok, I’ll stop, sorry) — and confident. I need a man who can handle all that and live up to some pretty high standards. Relationships, as you well know, take time and effort and a great deal of respect, trust and committment. Why should I give all those very precious things to someone unworthy? So what I’m saying is that I am 20 and I have a lot of life to live — so there’s nothing wrong with filling that life with beautiful men who make me happy, if only for a night (no — I don’t have any feelings of unfulfillment), lovely poetry and moonlit nights? What do you think? Am I delusional? Am I ok? Am I heading for a very large mid-life crisis and an exorbitant therapy bill?

— Siobhan

Dear Siobhan,

No, you’re fine. So are standards. Just make sure of one thing: when he comes along, will you actually let him in?

Breakup Girl


August 5

No glove = love?

Filed under: News — posted by Amanda @ 8:00 pm

NPR’s recent on-air essay about sex without condoms has drawn quite a bit of debate. Speaking on the “What’s the New What” series, Oakland teen Pendarvis Harshaw reported that for his peers these days, forgoing condoms “signifies taking monogamy to a new level” — one where “partners are required to trust each other completely.”

Harshaw called this Commitment 2.0 “the new engagement ring.” Several commenters on the story agreed that in an age where people choose to get married later in life, or not at all, this step is an unspoken strengthening of an already serious and monogamous relationship. Harshaw — since you’re wondering, slash, getting nervous — urges that both partners get tested for STIs and use other methods of birth control.



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