Wishing for more on October 19, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I really really really like my boyfriend. A LOT. We’ve been dating for a while now, and he’s the sweetest guy — he’s perfect. My parents love him (all adults do), he goes to church and is smart and good, and he plays soccer, and of course is really good looking. And I think I’m falling in love.

He’s also a good kisser. But…

This might sound gross. As much as we’ve kissed (and that’s quite a bit), he’s never kissed me with, oh, say, any tongue. Now these are wonderful kisses, and there’s nothing that disgusts me more than a lot of tongue, cause dude, it just gets on my nerves. I don’t want some huge foreign object in my mouth, especially someone else’s huge foreign object. But, I can handle a bit of tongue. In fact, I WANT just a little bit of tongue. So what can I do? I’m hesitant, cause I don’t want to do anything that’s going to shock him and make him think “Ewwwwwww.” But I’m so attracted to him. And I know he’s really attracted to me. In other words, how can I politely bump up the intensity of our love life very slightly?

— Wishing for Just a Little More!

Dear Wishing,

Oh! It is so refreshing to hear from younger folks for whom “more” is adding tongue, not … sex. So I will gladly help you out — especially because I know it’s hard to talk about these things. I mean, casual doesn’t really work — “Hey, sport, what say we toss in a little tongue?” Nor does formal — “There’s something I’d like to discuss with you. It’s about, well, bumping up the intensity of our sex life. I’mhesitant, because I don’t want to shock you, yet I feel that given our level of mutual attraction, we are ready to … ” At this point, actually, he may stick his tongue in your mouth to get you to shut up already.

Instead, I recommend: Show, don’t Tell — then Ask. Start by touching his lips with your tongue. Ask, “Um, do you like how that feels? Blink once for yes, twice for no.” And so on (in). Betcha you’ll rock his world. Starr-report back to let us know how it goes, okay?

Love,
Breakup Girl