A foreign occupation landing January 28, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I met a girl 10 years younger than me about three weeks before being sent to Bosnia with the military. She moved into my apartment and is taking care of all my affairs. I have found that she drives me up the wall and I know for a fact that she isn’t the one for me. However, she has our marriage and life all planned out. I have tried to get her to understand that she doesn’t even know who I am, but she says she will change her whole life just to please me. I hate this and I really would like to hear what you — as a super-female — would do?

— GI John

 
Dear GI John,

Gals, just a tip: if your man would rather be in Bosnia than at home with you, you two need to talk.

Anyway, look: your situation is past the point of trying to “get her to understand” anything. This is nuts. There’s no reasoning with someone who says she will “change her life for you.” Eeeeeuw. That level of flimsiness-of-self is her problem. She’s got to go, period. Tell her that. End of story.

Just one question for you, John: what on earth was she doing moving in in the first place? After three weeks? Right before you were leaving? If you met her because she was going to sublet, fine. And if she somehow moved in of her own accord after you left, I guess that would have been beyond your control. But if you invited her to under those circumstances, well, that is not what Breakup Girl calls military intelligence.

Love, 
Breakup Girl

P.S. She does seem quite efficient, however. Would she be interested in an internship in the office of a super-female?