A new study at James Madison University (based on a limited sample) suggests that “more women than men continue to prefer dating whereas more men than women rate hooking up above dating.” At least that’s the way Science Daily describes it. And that’s not wrong in terms of the study, but how come it takes a whole bunch more paragraphs to get to this part? “Overall, both genders showed a preference for traditional dating over hooking up…On the whole, men and women agreed on the benefits and risks of dating and hooking up.* It’s not that gender differences are never interesting, or worthwhile to note. But maybe if we paid more attention to what we actually — demonstrably — have in common, there’d be, well, even more traditional dating.

Via i09: “Blockbuster DC Comics artist — and copublisher — [Jim Lee] gives a lesson on color, composition, and awesomeness with this step-by-step tutorial” on how he sketched Wonder Woman on his iPad.*

* Quoth our tipster: “Which begs the question: is there a basic app that turns an iPad into an Etch-a-Sketch? You could have have a shake-clear feature!”

Is it or isn’t it? In an article set to appear in the June 2010 issue of Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health, researchers found that oral sex is … not.

Only about 20% of university students participating in a 2007 survey agreed that oral-genital contact constituted sex, yet the majority believed that penile-vaginal and penile-anal intercourse did (98% and 78%, respectively)…

While I agree that demoting oral sex to, say, just “fooling around”  doesn’t quite work either, I am most disturbed by:

a) The 2 % of university students who don’t believe penile-vaginal intercourse constitutes sex, and

b) The 22% of university students who don’t believe penile-anal intercourse also constitutes sex.

Um, then…what does? Sex obviously feels good — and is, arguably, essential — to many humans of all orientations, but if we want to get biological and scientific, it is essentially about reproduction, propagating the species and all that. Therefore, one would think, college kids, who have had at least high school biology — and social lives — would be 100% certain that penile-vaginal intercourse is mostly the way that happens. The fact that even 2% of them don’t know that makes me hope there is some margin of error with the study’s statistics or there are some smart gay students who are subversively protesting the common perception of vaginal penile sex as normal. Most likely, we seriously need to revamp sex education.

Apparently, the authors of the study also suggest that sex education may be to blame for this oral “sex” business as abstinence-only education as well as more comprehensive sex education programs focus on penile-vaginal intercourse. There is indeed danger — sexually transmitted and otherwise — in disassociating oral sex from “SEXsex.” Oral sex can spread disease more easily than, say, a back rub or a hi-five. So, why don’t we, as a society, recognize that education and making facts available to our young people is the best preventative medicine for both teen pregnancy and STDs? Oh wait: because — as at least the grownups known — addressing even the matter of oral sex is, yes, talking about SEX.

In honor of tax week, it seems apropos to blog this piece from Your Tango which asks the question “Is The Cost of Living Higher For Single Women?” Sure, we understand that single people don’t have some of the financial stresses that married folk do — especially those with children — but could there be economic discrimination against singles that balances it out? This article won’t make you propose or get divorced, but it’s an interesting read.

The curse of the friend-girl strikes March 23, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I’m sure you’ve probably heard this one before, but here goes. All of my better friends happen to be men. I don’t mind — love ’em to death, flaws and all. Besides, all of the best relationships start with the couple being friends, right? I figure with all these guy buds, you’d think the odds of that happening would be in my favor. In a word, wrong. If I hear myself referred to as “one of the guys” again, I’m going to puke. This isn’t exactly a recent development, either — one of my friends refers to my situation as “terminal buddy syndrome” and I’ve been afflicted since high school. (I’m 27 now.) Now, it’s not like I wax romantic over every single one of my friends, but I can think of a couple of them — both now married — that I would have been more than willing to take a shot at “jeopardizing our friendship” with, if you get my drift. It feels like it’s beyond me to get a man to think of me romantically. I know it’s not the “end-all, be-all,” but it’d be nice for a change. Suggestions?

— Everyone’s Kid Sister

(more…)

I’m fascinated by stories of my parents’ courtship, even though it was a bit pedestrian. Meeting in journalism class, the Under The Sea fraternity dance, my mom’s pixie cut. But now I’m fascinated by other people’s parents’ stories, thanks to an adorable piece by Peter Smith at nerve.com. While they were dating, his parents took a long walk — a really long walk, like from Pennsylvania to Wisconsin — and somewhere along this 1200 mile trek (Bucyrus, Ohio, actually) the two decided to get married.

How long had you known each other?

D: For three years. We were beginning to feel that we needed to make a decision of some kind. In fact, while walking, we did decide to get married.

M: Yeah, because we realized that we could do even something stressful – and it was stressful – like that and still want to be with each other most of the time, which is as good as it gets. We also got far enough away from home that it really felt like our decision. It didn’t feel like anybody’s parents peering over our shoulders.

Read the whole piece at nerve.com. Do you know your parents’ story? And have you ever used traveling together as a test of your relationship?

The filmmaker Naftali Beane Rutter — a dear friend of mine! — has a screening of his documentary film “Today” on April 7th at 6pm, the closing night of the New Filmmakers 2010 Spring Festival at Anthology Film Archives. Here, via a kindly-provided screener, is a sneak peek…see you there in a few hours!

“Today” is a poignant look at three families as they continue the simple task of living in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. The Blaise, Stanich and McPeak families differ in race, religion and socio-economic class, yet have other profound commonalities. In spite of Katrina, the families remain more or less intact, with parents and children in the same household. The mothers, Alice, Sissy and Lore,  form the backbone of each family, running things at home while the husbands work. While “Today” addresses the common roles and identities forged by motherhood,  it also offers a  delicate portrayal of how each woman makes motherhood her own.

As we get to know the Blaises, we feel at home with the ease and comfort they exude through their interactions. Being a family of six and living in a FEMA trailer is certainly not an ideal situation, yet Alice encourages her children to learn all they can, get an education, and pursue their dreams, even if those dreams include driving a bus. Alice’s impressive joy and hope reveal themselves as she cares for her children and in the brief moments she interacts with her husband and another family member, Uncle Lewis.

Similar to the Blaises, the Stanich family consists of five people also sharing one small living space: one room of a house Angelo Stanich, Sr. has been hired to repair. Katrina destroyed the Stanich’s home forcing them to move from Elmer, LA, to Alexander, LA and now finally to Holy Cross. They, too, had a stint in a FEMA trailer. Angelo, Sr. is present and participates in the lives of the children, but the main task of raising the children is thrust on Sissy as she navigates through the chaos that has become their lives.

In comparison to the Blaises and the Stanich’s, on the surface, the McPeaks seem rather untouched by Katrina. Lore runs with her headphones, does yoga in a park and gives mani-pedis in her work studio behind their home. Unlike the Blaise and Stanich families, the McPeaks’ world and their home have not changed much since Katrina. Lore’s world is comprised of conversations regarding farmers’ markets, designer paints and boat services. Robert and Lore have their 19th anniversary coming up, but there is a sadness to Lore. Of the three families, the McPeaks seem to be the most economically sound and stable, yet these resources only serve to point out what is missing — namely, Robert at the dinner table with his family. Robert works 12 hour shifts as a volunteer police officer and when home is often distant. Whereas the Blaises and the Staniches eat and pray together and fill their homes with the bustling of family life, the McPeak household is echoingly silent.

“Today” is essentially a portrait of how our interpersonal relationships and connections sustain us, particularly in times of loss and hardship. While there are questions I’m left asking about each of these families, the film draws us in to the nuanced rhythms of their lives. So, see the film and tell us what you think.

According to the CDC, the teen birth rate has dropped. Whether this is unequivocally good news is unclear, given, for example, the convincing evidence that a preponderance of teens are saving themselves for a vampire. Here’s what Cecile Richards, President of Planned Parenthood Federation of America, had to say:

“The drop in the teen birthrate after a two-year increase is welcome news, but the fact remains that nearly 750,000 teens become pregnant every year, a number that is still unacceptably high. When it comes to preventing unintended pregnancies and keeping our teens healthy and safe, hiding our heads in the sand is not a sound strategy. Our young people need education and support that comes from comprehensive, medically accurate, age-appropriate sex ed.

“That’s why we must continue to invest in commonsense policies that achieve our shared goal of truly preventing unintended pregnancies and lowering the teen pregnancy and birthrate. Full funding for comprehensive, age-appropriate sex education programs will put our nation on a sustained path of decreased teen birthrates.

“President Obama and members of Congress have taken a major step forward in allocating more than $185 million in evidence-based, medically accurate teen pregnancy prevention programs. [Yeah, but…?!] Studies show that these types of comprehensive sex education programs are effective in reducing teen pregnancy.

“As we mark STD Awareness Month and the launch of our Get Yourself Tested, or GYT, campaign with MTV, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the Kaiser Family Foundation (www.gytnow.org), it is imperative that we take the issue of teen health seriously. An investment in comprehensive sex education is an investment in reducing STDs and unintended and teen pregnancies. It’s that simple.”

In the future…Allie pretty much has dated the last man on earth — and he broke her heart. Even as the biological clock ticks for her entire species, can Allie find love on DateAHuman.com? Tune into this camptastic A-Handmaid’s-Tale-meets-Earth-Girls-Are-Easy Web series (featuring FOBG Phil Lamarr) to find out!

MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you can find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week Lynn responds to To Tell Or Not To Tell who has a crush on a guy at the gym…

Being painfully shy, I asked a friend what to do next. She volunteered to visit the gym with me and give me her opinion about Scott, acting as a “lookout” to see if he seemed interested in me, too. Unfortunately, she thought he was pretty great because she gave him her number the same day and they ended up dating for two weeks.

She had written him off, but running into him at the gym again, she feels the crush rekindling. What, if anything, should she do? (And, yo, what about the “friend?”) Read the full saga with extended rock climbing metaphors at Happen, then comment below!