The curse of the friend-girl strikes March 23, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I’m sure you’ve probably heard this one before, but here goes. All of my better friends happen to be men. I don’t mind — love ’em to death, flaws and all. Besides, all of the best relationships start with the couple being friends, right? I figure with all these guy buds, you’d think the odds of that happening would be in my favor. In a word, wrong. If I hear myself referred to as “one of the guys” again, I’m going to puke. This isn’t exactly a recent development, either — one of my friends refers to my situation as “terminal buddy syndrome” and I’ve been afflicted since high school. (I’m 27 now.) Now, it’s not like I wax romantic over every single one of my friends, but I can think of a couple of them — both now married — that I would have been more than willing to take a shot at “jeopardizing our friendship” with, if you get my drift. It feels like it’s beyond me to get a man to think of me romantically. I know it’s not the “end-all, be-all,” but it’d be nice for a change. Suggestions?

— Everyone’s Kid Sister

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My heart will go on past March 23, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

Why is it that every time you treat a guy like he is a decent, civilized human being he turns out to be a monster? And whenever you treat him like crap he is down on his knees begging for your love and care? I really wonder: will we good, nice, decent girls ever find that sort of guy who cares and really would sacrifice his favorite TV show for us (let alone sacrifice his life like in “Titanic”)?

— Lost White Lilly

Dear Lilly,

Guys! Hello! “Titanic” is a movie! Not real life! I mean come on, do you think that big strong boat really would have sunk so easily? Puuuuuure fiction.

Oh, wait.

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A “nice” kissoff from February 2, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

My boyfriend broke up with me because I was “too nice.” Do you think that this was the real reason, or just an excuse?

— Tu Nice

 
Dear Tu Nice,

Either (1) he has some sort of I’m Not Worthy issue that causes him to believe that he really only deserves to date the Linda Tripps of the world, or (2) it’s not so much an excuse as a default thing to say, a lite sugar-coating. Never mind the “too;” at least, either way, he thinks you’re nice — which, arguably, is better than thinking you’re Satan (or, worse, “terrific”). I realize neither he nor Breakup Girl has given you much to work with, but honestly, it’s not worth dwelling on. Mainly, I wanted to let guys know that WOMEN GET THE “TOO NICE” THING TOO. So there.

Love,
Breakup Girl