Going on strike, September 7, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
Once again–congrats on the wonderful website.
One of my closest friends has been living with a guy for several years. I don’t care for him, but I figure, if a friend’s boyfriend treats her well, that’s all that should matter to others. Problem is, he doesn’t, at least not in the following regard. I wouldn’t call him abusive, but he’s often verbally nasty to her in public. I’ve mentioned to her that it’s not a pleasure to watch him do his number, but my friend has a bit of a doormat problem. I want to say something to him when he starts in, but he’s very aggressive and I’d rather not have a bad fight. Any thoughts on how to say it in a way that gets the point across without things turning into a scene? Thanks.
— Unsure
Dear Unsure,
BOYcott. Tell her you’ll hang out with her, but not with the two of them, and tell her why. That way you get to keep your friend — and make your point.
BG thanks you for asking an excellent question. And so, I hope, will your friend.
Love,
Breakup Girl
MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you can find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn†columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.
This week Lynn deals with a letter from a 51-year-old woman who feels like she’s Back in Junior High because her best friends are making her choose between her boyfriend and them. And with good reason:
He is manipulative, a “dry drunk,†selfish, immature, etc. They accuse me of staying in an “abusive†relationship because I am addicted to the drama.
Who’s side are you on? Read the full letter at Happen, then come back here to comment!
From BG’s GO GIRL! File, dated January 19, 1998…
Dear Breakup Girl,
I just wanted to say that I was in a very destructive relationship about two years ago. It was hard for me, but I realized I deserved better than that. About year ago I met someone. At the time a relationship was the last thing on my mind. But he waited, and was very understanding about my fears. Later I realized he was the one for me all along. It’s been a year since then, and hes the best thing that has ever happened to me. For all of those girls out there who think there will never be anyone else, Wake up! You’re all far to beautiful to be wasting your time on someone who doesn’t respect you.
–Helplessly in Love
Dear Helplessly,
Go, girl. And listen, y’all: “Go, girl!” is a figure of speech. This is co-ed advice. This is not a Boys are Bad thing. This is a Bad Relationships are Bad thing. Okay? Enough said.
Love,
Breakup Girl