Sex with an Ex on October 12, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

Let’s-call-him-Jack and I have been broken up for nearly six months after dating for nearly 3 years. We tried the friend thing for a while and it worked out quite nicely except I foolishly took every nicety as a sign that he wanted me back. But now I know that just isn’t going to happen and I’m fine with it, although I still think about him every day, multiple times a day. However, I sort of have the hots for someone else AND am enjoying being single. My question is, Jack and I started sleeping together again in late June (we broke up in March) and have done it 5 times since then. We are always drunk when this happens but the sex is INCREDIBLE. The first few times he would not kiss me and we would not cuddle afterwards, just roll over and go to sleep. However, I mentioned the no-kissing policy made me feel like a prostitute so the last two times he has kissed me and held me BEFORE and AFTER we did it. The problem is, I know it is stupid to have sex with an ex, but what if it is REALLY good and you aren’t nursing false hopes of reconciliation? Also, what’s up with the kissing thing? Please help!!!

— Confused yet Satisfied

Dear Confused yet Satisfied,

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: of course the sex rocks your world. There’s no aphrodisiac like a breakup. As in, “You look great without … commitment.”

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Remember that Seinfeld ep wherein Jerry gets shunned by his buildingmates for refusing to engage in the “kiss hello?” Likewise, I have long been made uncomfy by physical gestures of affection absent any underlying, genuine, time-tested personal connection. (In fact, I finally had to make myself stop with the rebound-b.f. crap a few years back, because it was too much new-hands-feel, new-person-smell too soon.)

But am I in the minority? I first heard about cuddle parties — group events featuring PJ-clad guests and consensual, non-sexual hugging, hand-holding, nuzzling, spooning, and so on — about five years ago, and at least according to this report from Philadelphia’s CBS affiliate, they are still going strong. Clearly, they have touched, non-sexually, a nerve.

I dunno. Call me posh, but when I get the need for physical contact, I’d much rather shell out for a massage. Anybody with me? Who’s been to one of these things? Am I just being a prude?