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February 9

My husband has changed

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:33 am

Growing apart on September 21, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

Damn it. I can’t believe I’m writing this.

I am currently married to a person I have been with for five years. We have an almost two-year old son whom we both adore. My husband is not a jerk. He’s not abusive. He’s not distant or cold or boring or loveless. He even gets my jokes, for god’s sake. My mother thinks he’s Mr. All Time Wonderful (“the son she never had”, only she likes my brother a lot as well).

When we met he was an economics major and heading to do his masters in pure math. I had messed about in high school and so had to do “time” in college before I was even able to get into a University program. Things have turned out rather well for me. I’m finishing up my degree (in English lit and Religious Studies) this year — I took time off to have our son — and will probably begin my masters next fall. I’ve also ‘fallen in’ with the literary crowd round here and there is pressure to publish from other published people (I write poetry so we aren’t talking big bucks here). My husband now has a fairly good job as an accountant and rather than taking a masters he’s gone the route of professional designations — which is no bad thing in and of itself.



March 23

Needing to be needed

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:30 am

Blanket of insecurity on June 8, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I have been dating this guy for a year. Throughout our relationship, I learned a lot of family baggage that he was dealing with day to day. He would often talk and confide in me his hurt and anger (he also has been seeking professional help). Anyway, although it’s selfish to say, his neediness gave me security in our relationship. He was making real progress with his emotions. Then, family problems took a turn for the worse, financially and emotionally. He now has put so much of his energy into his mother and younger brothers that he barely has time for me. I have been having a rough time in my personal life and he’s just not there for me the way I was there for him. I’m taking it all so personally and am a little bitter. Am I being way too selfish? I love him so much and I know he loves me. I don’t know what to do. Help –?

— Amy



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