Blanket of insecurity on June 8, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I have been dating this guy for a year. Throughout our relationship, I learned a lot of family baggage that he was dealing with day to day. He would often talk and confide in me his hurt and anger (he also has been seeking professional help). Anyway, although it’s selfish to say, his neediness gave me security in our relationship. He was making real progress with his emotions. Then, family problems took a turn for the worse, financially and emotionally. He now has put so much of his energy into his mother and younger brothers that he barely has time for me. I have been having a rough time in my personal life and he’s just not there for me the way I was there for him. I’m taking it all so personally and am a little bitter. Am I being way too selfish? I love him so much and I know he loves me. I don’t know what to do. Help –?

— Amy

(more…)

friends, more than friends, and family. Especially Adam Lambert’s mom. Have a lovely, restful, sweet-potato-casserole-with-marshmallows-ful holiday!

Further reading: Breakup Girl’s Thanksgiving files.

In a depressing new study—about an already sad topic—oncologists Dr. Marc Chamberlain and Dr. Michael J. Glantz and their colleagues found that women given a dire health diagnosis were more likely to be abandoned by their (male) mates than in the reverse scenario.

If couples are happy before the diagnosis, it appears that men are more likely to abandon wives who become seriously ill. If couples are already troubled before a partner becomes ill, the finding suggests that women in unhappy marriages are less likely to proceed with a divorce if their husbands become ill.

(Same-sex couples were apparently not a part of the study.)

While this plays into many of our society’s worst stereotypes–and women’s worst fears–about non-committal males, perhaps being aware of this research ahead of time will help doctors help couples facing a grim diagnosis and long treatment. Who knows? Maybe men and women who are more conscious of the marriage-challenging stress that lies ahead may be better prepared to deal with it when it happens.