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December 3

BG Q&A: Can the rules of dating help you at work?

Filed under: books,Holiday — posted by Paula @ 12:10 pm

You’ve heard this comparison: dates are, for helpful or painful, like job interviews. (In this economy, let’s hope at least one or the other, depending, is plentiful.) But career counselor and author Nicole Williams sees it the other way around: when women (or “girls,” as she calls ‘em)  apply the received dating wisdom of the post-Rules generation — basically, “don’t give the milk away for free” — to their workplace, they can create a new, strong, and female-friendly way of doing business.

Williams’s book, Girl on Top: Your Guide to Turning Dating Rules into Career Success, has been getting mostly positive coverage in magazines as disparate as Money and Cosmo, and is currently ranked at #32 on Amazon’s business books list. Whether you agree or disagree with the tenets of her philosophy, she has some interesting advice for women coping with some typical year-end job bugaboos. We caught up with Williams during her crazybusy book tour.

BG: The recession rages on, and it seems that about 10 percent of the US population has been “dumped.” What are the parallels between the post-breakup “Slanket and Zebra Cakes” period and the first few weeks or months of unemployment?

NW: It’s oh-so similar. Rejection — personal or professional — sucks. But the difference is at the end of the day, as much as you’d like to lay fetal and eat (or frankly drink) your way to delirium, a girl’s got to pay rent! Let yourself have a good cry and feel like shit for a week (or if desperate…two) but you know what they say about getting back up on the horse…Get back out there while your contacts are fresh, your skills are current, your confidence has a pulse and you haven’t convinced yourself all would be fine if you could just land yourself a spot on The Hills.

BG: Those of us still in the workforce will soon be facing the dreaded Holiday Office Party–any tips on how to survive?

I’m fine with the hookup as long as he’s not your boss, you do it after the party (where no one is going to see you), and with someone you actually have a hankerin’ for. I’m not big into one-night work stands–it’s way too hard to see him day-in and day-out if there’s no long term potential. The risk is too great and let’s be honest, there are lots of options out there.

On the drinking front: one is fine, three is not. This is a big occasion where you really can make an impact and it’s better not to do that drunk. Break free of your usual crowd and get to know the big-wigs, talk about something other than the latest financials, and wear something that isn’t your usual office attire. But be careful, it’s not New Year’s party-sexy–it’s still work.

BG: Another recession question: say you like your job OK, but you learn at the year-end company meeting that there will be no raises or bonuses this year. (Not unlike “I love you but I don’t foresee marriage anytime soon”?) Should you stay or should you go?

Such a great question. It’s not just about the cash (although if it’s been years, you’re a high producer and the company is flush…it  is), it’s about the compensation package. Are you learning things and meeting people who you’ll be able to turn into money-making opportunities? Is your boss offering up extra vacation days, some other sort of hearty “thanks”? Is she or he giving you time and attention–offering you constructive feedback, introduction to important people? If your boss isn’t into you (and doing NONE of the above), I’m all about cutting and running. Just remember that in this economy, money isn’t the only indicator of love.


June 9

Radio free wedding

Filed under: Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:51 am

Anyone remember the arranged wedding at the Mall of America? Cynics might assume that that couple — the bride chosen by the groom’s friends, the two met at the altar — would be long divorced, you know, from their third marriages. Not so! Eleven years (and three kids) later, they’re still happily committed. What’s their secret? “I don’t think it’s that much of a secret,” David Weinlick told TODAY last year. “It’s really about how we make it work together. Committed to being together.” (Okay, that’s not saying so much, but I think he knows what he means: to italicize “committed.” As in: not “let’s see IF this works,” but rather, “let’s see how we can commit to making this work.”) And voila.

All of this is to say you should probably seriously consider getting married at Navy Pier in Chicago on June 25. Now, the major difference here is that it’s okay if you’ve, you know, met your intended before you walk down the aisle. It’s a charm-us-with-your-charming-story contest run by  Vocalo.org — sort of like if NPR did Current TV, with much content supplied by users — who will supply the charmingest coupe with an officiant, cake, musicians, hair-styling and makeup for the bride — plus a lovely venue on Lake Michigan and a potential listening audience of zillions (who, one hopes, will all be directed to your gift registry).

Vocalo is seeking to interview couples on-air over the next weeks. More info here. Fun! (Really, you can’t afford not to enter.) And who knows, maybe next year they’ll have some sort of charm-us-with-your-charming-I-dig-being-single story contest. With cake, too, of course.


June 4

Library of congress

Filed under: Advice — posted by Rose @ 3:36 pm

New Depression dating has had plenty of play in the media this year — dates on a dime, broke and breaking up, yada yada. Here’s the latest: library dates.

Oddly, though, the advice here is to use the library resource for romcoms and sex manuals. But just like you bookworms, I’m thinking the obvious: why not hit the libe ON a date? (Was my alma mater the only college where sex in the stacks was a graduation requirement?)

I’m not advocating public fornication. (No really, I’m not.) But I honestly like the idea of browsing the stacks together, trailing your hands across weathered spines, just talking ’bout books. And, okay, I really like the idea of gleaning a few roleplay ideas from that buttoned-up bookstress seated straight-backed at the desk.


April 15

Cheap date

Filed under: Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 11:04 am

Really, you can both pinch pennies and feed your squeeze! Visualize whirled peas with Clara Cannucciari, 91, host of Great Depression Cooking with Clara, who offers thrifty recipes — those her mother made in the extra-lean 30s — along with salty way-back-when anecdotes. Dig this one about her friendly neighborhood whisky bootleggers. (Sorry, no recipe for that.)

Via BoingBoing.


January 27

Dating A Banker Anonymous

Filed under: Comedy — posted by Chris @ 9:17 am

When the going gets tough, the inconvenienced write a blog!

Dating A Banker Anonymous (DABA) is a safe place where women can come together – free from the scrutiny of feminists– and share their tearful tales of how the mortgage meltdown has affected their relationships. DABA Girls was started by two best friends whose relationships tanked with the economy. Not knowing what else to do, we did what frustrated but articulate girls have done since the beginning of time – we started a blog. So if your monthly Bergdorf’s allowance has been halved and bottle service has all but disappeared from your life, lighten your heart with laughter and email your stories to dabagirls@gmail.com.

These girls are really funny … we hope.


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