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February 4

Dispatches from the Friend Zone

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:33 am

Not taking things to the next level on May 25, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

Hi. I know you’ve written about Friend Boys, but so far no one has seemed to share my curse, so my variation on the theme hasn’t been addressed. I hope you can help.

My problem is this: I believe a solid romantic relationship is built on a solid friendship. The main reason I feel this is that when you date, pretense and airs are, well, up in the air. When you get to know someone as a friend, you get to know the real them, because they have no reason to put on airs. Also, while I’ll check out the hottie in the tight red dress, I could never find myself attracted to someone on any level beyond the physical unless I really know her. Unfortunately, this has left me on the business end of a bad Catch-22.

See, whenever I get to know a woman well enough to develop feelings for her and try to bring the friendship to a “new level,” she says that I can’t because I “know her too well,” and vice versa.


Women are constantly complaining about never knowing what their man is thinking, or that he never knows what they are feeling, or that he is just too confusing, and yet, when presented with someone whom they are very close to, and who knows them so well (and again, vice versa), they say, “Uh-uh, no way.” Sigh.

–The Shadow Knows



January 28

Breakup strategies: Faking Your Own Death

Filed under: News — posted by Chris @ 10:12 am

Sometimes it’s hard to know what to say when you want to end a relationship. And if you are dating Olivia Newton-John it’s pretty much impossible to explain yourself. (I mean, she’s like the original Kylie Minogue!) But it’s time to man-up, because if you fake your own death, NBC’s Dateline WILL FIND YOU.

In an episode devoted to the mystery this week, Klein revealed that his agency had set up a hi-tech trap to help locate McDermott by making a website called findpatrickmcdermott .com, which secretly showed investigators the locations of people accessing the site.

Klein said he suspected McDermott has regularly been logging on to the “spider site”, with the team tracking hits from what he believed was a boat traveling along the Mexican coastline as far as South America.

Patrick McDermott is alive!


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