MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you’ll find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week Lynn helps KA who was recently spurned by a friend-boy and is feeling like a mutant because she’s never had a boyfriend at the ripe old age of 22. Check out Lynn’s advice-slash-pep-talk at Happen, then come back here to add your own thoughts below!

Better safe than sorry on March 9, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

My boyfriend and I discussed getting free and anonymous HIV tests together. He agreed that it would be a good idea. We always practice safe sex. However, we broke up during Christmas and I made the mistake of sleeping with someone else unprotected. I haven’t told anyone else about this other guy because I am so ashamed. I haven’t even told my best friend. I feel scared.

Now, my boyfriend has decided that he doesn’t want to get tested together. I don’t even know if he wants to get tested at all. He consistently avoids or changes the subject every time I bring it up. What should I do? It is always on my mind. I am scared to go alone (partly because I hate needles). Please help!

— Alone and Needle Phobic

(more…)

In a depressing new study—about an already sad topic—oncologists Dr. Marc Chamberlain and Dr. Michael J. Glantz and their colleagues found that women given a dire health diagnosis were more likely to be abandoned by their (male) mates than in the reverse scenario.

If couples are happy before the diagnosis, it appears that men are more likely to abandon wives who become seriously ill. If couples are already troubled before a partner becomes ill, the finding suggests that women in unhappy marriages are less likely to proceed with a divorce if their husbands become ill.

(Same-sex couples were apparently not a part of the study.)

While this plays into many of our society’s worst stereotypes–and women’s worst fears–about non-committal males, perhaps being aware of this research ahead of time will help doctors help couples facing a grim diagnosis and long treatment. Who knows? Maybe men and women who are more conscious of the marriage-challenging stress that lies ahead may be better prepared to deal with it when it happens.

Obviously, we heart funny women at Breakup Girl HQ, but what about the rest of the world?

Are funny women intimidating to the opposite sex?

Although Kevin Pang ends his Chicago Tribune article on the topic with a happy punch line, he explores the pitfalls of funny women in the Chicago improv scene trying to date “civilians.”

Although male improvisers date both within and outside the community, many female improvisers only date fellow performers…The argument, I realized, might not be that female performers can’t date noncomedians, but that they gravitate toward funnier men.

He goes on to quote sociologists and layfolk, and makes the astute observation:

Those who can make others laugh are the puppeteers of life. They pull strings, tugging and slacking people’s emotions. And that’s a powerful thing, perhaps too much for some men to accept.

So what’s the moral here? Should funny women stick to dating only funny guys? Should natural-born comediennes suppress their instincts in order to appeal to men? Or should men just grow a pair and face their fears? What do you think? Comments welcome.

[P.S. Welcome, Paula, to BG’s super-bloggers! You’re funny, and we’re not intimidated.]

It’s the twentieth anniversary of Say Anything (#iamold), and while some now confess to having replaced Dobler with Donaghy, his  In Your Eyes triumph will always be in our hearts. And now, thanks to a tipster, we’ve succumbed to the charms of Marit Larsen, who here comes pretty close to a boombox moment of her own:

NOOOOOoooooo! Fox has dumped Joss Whedon again.

Quick, what should we send Fox for our mail campaign?

Maybe our old cellphones?

MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you’ll find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week Lynn advises Searching in New Hampshire — a 50-ish single mom looking for a man who is willing to date a woman with small children. Where should she look without moving to a bigger town? Read Lynn’s suggestions then come back here to comment!

Opening the lines of communication on March 9, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

There’s a lot said about not pushing people to change and just accepting differences. Yet, good relationships are supposed to involve lots of communicating, which suggests it is for working out differences. How do you know which issues are important and which ones are simply annoying?

— Jonus

Dear Jonus,

Brilliant question. Practical answer: it’s all relative. Here’s a project for everyone wondering the same thing: make a list of all the issues in your relationship. All of them. Even the dumb stuff. Everything. From “We have different styles of handling money” to “”How can she not think that what the President does under his desk is his own business?” to “Ketchup on eggs?” Don’t worry, you’re not going to have to show it to anyone (though Breakup Girl is always curious about these things). Now put it away for a day (you may wish to encrypt it in Navajo). Take it out and add more. Put it away again for a few days. Now take it out one more time, curl up with some chamomile and a highlighter, and read. Now that you see all the issues together in one context, you tell me: which ones are important and which ones are just annoying? My sense is that since you thought to ask this question in the first place, you’ll know what’s worth highlighting.

Love,
Breakup Girl

Most Lichtensteintastic Halloween makeup EVER.

http://www.geekologie.com/2009/10/a_real_comic_book_character_fo.php

Rihanna speaks out for the first time since that whole business with what’s-his-name, in the latest issue of Glamour:

“Domestic violence is a big secret. No kid goes around and lets people know their parents fight. Teenage girls can’t tell their parents that their boyfriend beat them up. You don’t dare let your neighbor know that you fight. It’s one of the things we [women] will hide, because it’s embarrassing. My story was broadcast all over the world for people to see, and they have followed every step of my recovery. The positive thing that has come out of my situation is that people can learn from that. I want to give as much insight as I can to young women, because I feel like I represent a voice that really isn’t heard. Now I can help speak for those women.”