The results of AskMen.com’s Great Male Survey are in, and some of the findings may surprise you. (Or not, assuming everyone in your relationship reads BreakupGirl.net and is therefore most excellent and discerning.) The “Internet’s top men’s lifestyle site” asked more than 70,000 readers to take the 150-question survey, which was broken down into five sections: Lifestyle, Dating, Sexuality, Power & Money, and Men in 2008. AskMen.com also teamed up with Yahoo! Shine, a lifestyles website for women, to host the Great Female Survey, which included 40 questions from the male survey about dating and sexuality. (Women, evidently, have no Power or Money, and are interesting only when talking about men.)

The survey’s goal — and this is where we’ve got their back — was challenge the all-too-common image of today’s men as immature, insensitive, and afraid of commitment. Says AskMen.com editor-in-chief James Bassil, “These survey results will be surprising to many women, most of whom have a completely different perspective of what the average man thinks and feels.” Selected results after the jump…

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Are you discriminating, sophisticated, and looking for that special someone with whom to roam the earth until we finally succumb to maggots and rot?

If so, I just may be your zombie.

I like shambles down the beach, brains, and BRAAAAAIIIIINSSSS.

To brains me, just brains my BRRRAAAAIIIIINSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FOBG Rebecca Traister’s ode to Scully is more than worth a day pass to Salon.com’s premium offerings. After all, you’ll need something to last you till tomorrow.

Highlights:

Dana Scully was not standard television beautiful, but a diminutive pre-Raphaelite, pale of skin and red of hair, who could give equal amounts of soul to lines like “Nothing happens in contradiction to nature, just in contradiction to what we know of it” and “Well, seeing as how it’s Friday, I was thinking I could get some work done on that monograph I’m writing for the penology review: ‘Diminished Acetylcholine Production in Recidivist Offenders.'” A woman who, when asked by her pestering partner to examine a cadaver’s head just one more time for a set of horns, can snap on her gloves and mutter “Whatever” like she really means it.

And, about TV romance — or at least spooky chemistry:

The pairing, based mostly on the dynamic between actors Anderson and Duchovny, crackled, and the show had at its core a professional relationship that was not just sexually, but romantically, electric. Of course, back then, when we all walked a mile to school and programs started the season in September and finished them in May, slow-burn television relationships burned really slowly, especially in comparison with today’s short-attention-span theater, when an unrequited prime-time couple can maybe make it to sweeps before kicking off their panties. Not only did the sparks between Mulder and Scully fly fast and far, but the drawing out of their relationship allowed their audience to fall for them too, despite the irritating imperfections of both character and plot.

See you at the movies!

Ever wonder where BG goes when her cape starts to fray?

It is on, people. The Frisky wants your picks for the hottest, people, places, music, books, and Nathan Fillions. Vote early and often…even if you don’t second BG’s (and the super-bloggers’) own noms!

Being apart from your honey stings like a bee-atch, and, as Jackie recently reported here, the cost of fuel is making it harder to keep things sweet. Long-distance couples have plenty of keyboardy, computery ways to keep in touch — e-mail, IM, Skype — but those tools can be too task-oriented and disruptive. Over at Wired magazine, Regina Lynn recently explored the budding field of “tele-amore” — a whole new world of technology that may help “intimacy, playfulness and common experiences.” As Lynn writes: “Despite the frenzy around social media applications, we still don’t have sensual devices that extend that functionality beyond virtual space.” The gizmos she describes are all about nonverbal communication (but we’re not talking about “teledildonics”). (more…)

Bravo — speaking of staying friends — is premiering a new dating show that sounds like it could be all about the awkward. Date My Ex: Jo and Slade stars the ex-couple from Real Housewives of the Orange County. Jo De La Rosa has moved from the OC to the L-to-the-A to get busy with her music career, but Slade Smiley has come along as her friendly “business manager.” Jo’s friends will be setting her up each week with a new guy they think’ll be good for her, but here’s where Slade really gets all up her business. Not only will he be grilling and testing the guys each week, he’ll be weighing in on how pure he thinks their intentions are. Oh, and he’ll be living with them. Could Slade possibly be interested in seeing Jo independent and happy, or does the very premise of the show prove he’s not ready to move on? Check out a sneak peek — especially if you missed Monday’s premiere — to see the first of many priceless (sad, shocked, or masochistic?) looks on Slade’s face.

Via The Daily Bedpost: Go-gal advice for single women from an editor at Vogue, in 1936. About Miss S., a teacher in the New York public schools, she writes: “In spite of living by one of the most underpaid professions in the world, Miss S. has been to Europe three times and to Mexico once, and three years ago she paid for the care of a tubercular pupil. She feels very sorry for her friends in Maine whose lives are limited to husbands and a trip to Portland.” Swell! Read more here.

From our tipster (Colin!): “This BBC article is just flat-out cool. Basement tapes (from the attic, actually) from the woman who made the Doctor Who* theme sound like the Doctor Who theme.”

* birth-show of dashing intergalactic omnisexual Captain Jack Harkness (BBC exec: “How ridiculous would it be that you would travel through time and space and only ever find heterosexual men?”) and source of such flirtatious introductions as “Nice to meet you, Rose Tyler. Now run for your life.”

Since life is so often stranger than fiction (people stealing leaves in India, doctors pulling screws and nails from a metal-eating man, the Clapper), the Bush Theatre in England decided to go to the source when conceiving its newest show, “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover,” which opens its run Saturday at the Latitude Festival.

The theater asked people to share their worst (or “best,” depending) breakup experiences, 50 of which found their way into the 50-minute play, performed by two men and two women. The breakup lines uttered range from the classic “Let’s just be friends” to the soon-to-be classic “I’m dumping you by changing my Facebook status.”

I once was dumped by a guy who apparently decided the only was to get rid of me was to drop out of college and drive from Louisiana to Alaska to work on a fishing boat. I got a postcard letting me know. That one’s perhaps better for an epistolary novel, or Discovery Channel reality show, but hey: tell us what vignette would you have offered for inclusion in this real-life art?