If you haven’t been paying attention, Current TV, Al Gore’s user-generated news channel (“cable access for wonks”), has begun interrupting its endless stream of QuickTime clips with something called “tv programs” — so last century! Not that we’re complaining; One such foray into less-new media is infoMania, a collection of satirical bits by regular contributors (Daily Show-meets-YouTube) which has given us the lovely Sarah Haskins. Her Target Women series skewers how the media reaches out to women, and her newest target is holiday Jewelry commercials:

There’s nothing that says “I love you” to a woman like a diamond. Nope, not even the words “I love you.”

My first job post-college involved coordinating continuing education programs for childbirth educators. Amniotic fluid and doulas rocked my world. No really, the whole thing shook me up. One of the more positive experiences of my entry into career-land was meeting Debra Pascali-Bonaro, the brains behind the new documentary “Orgasmic Birth.” The film entertains the idea that childbirth could actually be enjoyable, even pleasurable. Pascali-Bonaro suggests “the best kept secret” of childbirth is that as a baby exits the birth canal, the woman can experience an orgasm. Eager to know more? Check out the film on January 2 on ABC’s 20/20. Talk about being optimistic in the New Year.

Reasons why it’s not that surprising that I teared up at Cody Linley‘s Dancing with the Stars departure Tuesday night:

1. It felt like a breakup. Or rather, two breakups in one: No more Cody and Julianne cutting it up while cutting a rug like the king and queen of the prom; no more, in my wildly dancing imagination, of our weekly threesomes.

2. Hey, I cried when Boner Stabone bid adieu to bestie Mike Seaver on Growing Pains. (I distinctly remember dashing to my bedroom to hide my tears from my family.) I also cried when Garfield said goodbye to his mother in “Garfield on the Town.” Yes, I have a problem.

3. Or do I? According to this recent study (sponsored by me, you’d think) about the health benefits of crying, it’s not a problem at all, which is great news for me.

Almost nine out of ten participants in the study reported improved moods post-weeping, and researchers found that emotional tears (as opposed to emotion-neutral, chopping-onions tears) contain stress-related hormones. So when we cry over stressful situations, such as a breakup, we really are “crying it out.”

Unfortunately, by “we,” I mean mostly women. The report states that men cry an average of seven times per year. For women, it’s a whopping 47 times per year. Also: men who cry out of sadness were “more positively rated” by women, while women’s sad tears made them less attractive to men.

For the record, Cody cried in a previous episode of DWTS while declaring his (platonic?) love for Julianne, so I know he’s the right man-boy for me.

It’s not necessarily one of those days, like, say, International Women’s Day, that prompts us to suggest, “Shouldn’t every day be… ?” But today, according to CBS and 1-800-FLOWERS, is Ex Day. (Unlike, say, International Women’s Day, Ex Day does have corporate sponsors.)

Inspired by the new CBS series The Ex List (BG, distracted by Prison Break, Chuck, and Sarah Palin, has been utterly remiss in her field research! Any reviews?), the initiative is designed to “let love bloom again” and “bring new life to past relationships through a special ‘Ex Day’ bouquet.”

From the press release: “According to a recent study by Wakefield Research, 39% of people feel they let ‘the One’ get away, and more than 2 in 5 Americans still have romantic feelings for an ex. Tapping into an American impulse to reconnect with a past love [the French don’t do that?], the Ex Bouquetâ„¢ sends a heartfelt and understated message and can be delivered same day at the click of a mouse, thereby eliminating the stress of an awkward ‘ex encounter.’ [Except for the part where your ex’s new squeeze is sitting at the next desk.] Crafted from fresh carnations, Gerbera daisies, Asiatic lilies, daisy poms and button poms, the aromatic arrangement says, ‘How have you been? Now you are in the awkward position of having to call me to say thanks even though you’ve moved on, leaving me to pick apart your ‘mixed messages’ and in no better a place than where I started‘ in muted green and white hues.”

Broadsheet’s Amy Benfer recently highlighted some antediluvian romantic advice from Countess LuAnn de Lesseps, star of “The Real Housewives of New York City.” Apparently the countess thinks she’s just dripping with gems of wisdom, which she shared with two women sitting together at a bar (one of whom happened to be surfing on her Blackberry).

Without tearing into the racist, sexist, ignorant comments that framed her words, I will attempt to deflect her message in its entirety with my Wonder Woman bracelets.  Fwing! Zing!

Sayeth the Countess, “When men see females on their BlackBerrys working hard, it really turns them off. Men like women to be females, to not be like workaholics, as that comes off as being uptight in the bedroom and control freaks.” How confused is the countess? Let me count the ways:

1. Smartphones are usually indicators of success, money, and social connection (attractive things, unless we’re in bizarro world), and in bars they are kept handy for social reasons, and also for looking up which actor from that show played the guy in the movie.
2. Dear men, have you ever been turned off by a woman who could settle your bar bet with her Bat-phone?
3. No one likes to feel neglected or ignored in the presence of a Crackberry, but she’s not saying “don’t be rude.” She’s saying, “Men won’t want to rescue you if they think you don’t need it.” The countess also doesn’t see the difference between “workaholic” and “gainfully employed.”
4. The work/life/love balance deserves thoughtful advice, preferably from those who actually walk that tightrope every day. I’m sure our readers have some valuable insight and anecotes.
5. It’s dismissive and just plain unhelpful to say that all men like a certain thing. Figure out what you like.
6. “Uptight in the bedroom” HA. HAH! HAHahahahahahahhaha! Honey, if you only knew!

I guess I shouldn’t be flabbergasted that a woman with an old-world title has a damsel-in-distress outlook on marriage, but I like to think that’s part of why people set out in pursuit of happiness to the new one.

Poor Amelia over at The Frisky calls herself “one of the few” who loved the movie “The Break Up” (sic)* (WHY don’t movie people SPELL CHECK?!), “mainly because it made [her] laugh in that, ‘Haha, this is totally the way me and the fiance would be behave if we ever broke up, but I’m able to laugh about it because, haha, we are NEVER going to break up so it’ll never become a bitter reality!'” way.

Oops.

Now the movie is on her — and, we’re guessing, also Jennifer Aniston‘s — list of “10 Movies, TV Shows, and Songs to Avoid During a Breakup.” Many of which, I should note, are not what you might expect.

But only 10? I know, right? Add yours here!

* “breakup,” NOUN, one word: the end of a romantic relationship; “break up,” VERB, two words: to end a romantic relationship, possibly over grammar and spelling violations.

First, the “Accidental Cougar” — now, the on-purpose ones.

Gawker’s SciFi blog i09 flirts with the eternal question — also explored on How I Met Your Mother — “Sure they love me, but can they love my Star Wars?”

It’s all fun and games until the Firefly box is opened, and all of a sudden you’re caught defending space pirates. How I Met Your Mother’s season premiere perfectly covered this silly question that those of us with short fuses and huge science fiction collections often find ourselves in….It’s a sweet look at the geeking out we all do when our most favorite movie is on and you really, really hope that your friend/buddy/significant other/or homeless guy on the street will enjoy it as much as you will. The nice thing about HIMYM’s take on the “deal breaker” movie is that at least Sarah Chalke was smart enough to lie. Which is my advice to those of you just getting into the scifi game.

Just this week a beautiful girl approached me and asked what she should do as she “discovered” her fiances’ in-depth collection of Star Trek episodes. I told her to ask him to play her his favorite episodes that he thought she would like, open a bottle of wine (or two), and if she didn’t like it just let him know he can have all the fun friend time he wants with his buddies that want to come over for Trek marathons.

I’m not saying all relationships lacking a mutual love of sci fi are totally lost to the dark side, but if your love interest isn’t willing to at least sample your geeky taste along with a bottle of wine, maybe they are not the droid you’re looking for?

(Bonus: io9 also asks this excellent question: “My favorite can-not-live-with-out-deal-breaker-if-they-don’t-at-least-pretend-to-like-it movie is and probably always will be Aliens. What’s yours?”)

Though I am “of a certain age” (read: not in my 20s, but if Hollywood comes calling I am totally telling them BG wrote this post), nothing reduces me to feeling like a teenager than introducing my boyfriend to my parents.

I bring this up because (a) my boyfriend of several years just met my parents last week and (b) ’tis getting to be the season (or at least the TV season) for such meetings. In fact, the Chicago Tribune’s Red Eye just ran an article listing meet-the-parents DOs and DON’TS — for the KIDS! What were they THINKING? Wouldn’t you say it’s the grownups who need a few pointers?

Like:

DO: Say nice things about your child in front of her boyfriend, excluding admiring comments about her “birthing hips.”

DON’T: Wear that.

C’mon, what else? Add your own in the comments!

Rocky! Brad! Giles!
Rocky Horror… Buffy cast members… head exploding…