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February 17

Women: Tough crowd?

Filed under: media,pop culture,TV — posted by Breakup Girl @ 4:02 pm

“Sense of humor:” it’s in pretty much everyone’s top three requirements for a mate, and fair enough (though I say hey, don’t settle, go for “grasp” of humor, or heck, “mastery”). But when it comes to getting laughs, do men (or, OK, lesbians) face a tougher crowd? A New Scientist article about the neuro-circuitry of comedy contains this interesting morsel:

“Men and women…seem to process jokes slightly differently. Although both sexes laugh at roughly the same number of jokes, women show greater activity in the left prefrontal cortex than men (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, vol 102, p 16496). “This suggests a greater degree of executive processing and language-based decoding,” says [researcher Dean Mobbs]. As a result, women take significantly longer than men to decide whether they find something funny*, though that doesn’t seem to spoil their enjoyment of the joke. Indeed, women show a greater response in the limbic system than men, suggesting they feel a greater sense of reward.”

*Margin of error: One Super Bowl. ADS NOT FUNNY**: this we knew in a nano.

** Except this one.


Sleeping with the Edward

Filed under: pop culture — posted by Breakup Girl @ 3:06 pm

Finally! The second-scariest Twilight product.


February 15

This week at Happen: Just a shoulder to cry on?

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:09 am

MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you can find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week Lynn embraces Mr. Hug, a guy who finds himself offering emotional support to unhappy women, but who wants so much more.

I recently crossed paths with a high-school crush (girl #2) who is hanging onto a particularly lousy ex. I tried to put aside my crush — which she’s aware of — and become the guy whose shoulder she cries on. … It’s hard, but I’ve adjusted to being lonely.

Can Lynn help this nice guy finish first? Read her tough love over at Happen, then come back here and offer your own advice in the comments.


Announcing our 2010 Haiku Master!

Filed under: Holiday — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:01 am

You rated the haikus and determined our finalists …
Now, from your favorites, our fancy celebrity judge Joel Stein has anointed a winner:

I don’t think I’d need
Five hundred days to know that
Summer was a bitch.

— Ash

Ash is our 2010 Haiku Master! Ash is also our MVP, being the author of a majority of our highest rated haiku (though his syllable counting skills were not always perfect).

Here are our Honorable Mentions, the other highest-rated haiku that had the correct meter, showed no voting irregularities, and were not written by Lynn or Chris…

We’re so different.
For example, I’m a Mac.
And you’re an asshole.

— Ash

It will never work.
I like Radiohead and
you like Dave Matthews.

— Salmeen

young love grows old fast:
the puppy you wanted then
has gone to the dogs

— ed

These aren’t tears for you.
I’m just upset that Mom said,
“See. I told you so.”

— Ash

The signs were all there.
Like your YouTube “parody”
of Single Ladies.

— Ash

Check out all the entries in our 2010 Valentine’s Day Haiku Contest here. (Disagree with the results? Yes, you can still rate them!)


February 14

Mary Jane’s Not a Virgin Any More…& more

Filed under: pop culture,Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 11:16 am

Way back in sheesh, 1999, long before we could embed video, we (specifically, Mikki Halpin) reviewed FOBG Sarah Jacobson’s Mary Jane’s Not A Virgin Any More, “an amazing coming-of-age story…about the slow, sputtering start of sexuality and self-awareness.” (More: “You thought the sex-in-a-car scene in Titanic was hot? Wait until you see this one! Not to mention the masturbation scenes, the sex-in-a-graveyard scene, the how-I-lost-my-virginity-scenes, the coming-out scene, and the “What is a clitoris?” speech. Plus comedic relief from Jello Biafra!”) Tragically, the brilliant Sarah died in 2004 at the age of 32.

Now — tomorrow, in fact — in Sarah’s much-celebrated memory, Mikki and friends present:

An evening to honor DIY filmmaker Sarah Jacobson
And a benefit for the Sarah Jacobson Film Grant
February 15, 2010
7 pm doors, 8 pm show
Glasslands Gallery, Brooklyn, NY

On Monday, February 15, 2010, filmmakers, punk rockers, feminists, and musicians will gather to remember filmmaker Sarah Jacobson (1970–2004). The evening will include an appearance from Sarah’s mother Ruth Jacobson, and her sister Lee Jacobson. There is a $5 suggested donation at the door, and all proceeds will go to the Sarah Jacobson Film Grant, which supports independent young women filmmakers.

Sarah Jacobson (1971–2004) was a a filmmaker who wrote, produced, and directed several movies in the 1990s, including “Mary Jane’s Not A Virgin Any More” and “I Was a Teenage Serial Killer.” Sarah’s films reflected her punk sensibilities, her feminist beliefs, and her dedication to DIY principles. She and her mother Ruth Jacbson brought “Mary Jane” to the 1997 Sundance festival, and it was named by Film Threat as one of the “25 Underground Films You Must See.” Sarah was active in the music scene and directed several music videos, including one for Man… or Astroman? She died in 2004 at the age of 32.

After her death, filmmaker Sam Green and Sarah’s mother established the Sarah Jacobson Film Grant for young women “whose work embodies some of the things that Sarah stood for: a fierce DIY approach to filmmaking, a radical social critique, and a thoroughly underground sensibility.” Since 2004, the grant has been awarded to eight filmmakers: Marie Losier, Natasha Mendonca, Kara Herold, Gretchen Hogue, Joanna Dery, Vanessa Renwick, Ellen Lake, and Veronica Majano.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Sarah Jacobson” will celebrate Sarah’s life and work. It also launches the grant cycle for 2010 and information about applying for the grant will be available at the event and on the Sarah Jacobson Film Grant website.

The evening will begin with a short screening of samples of previous grant winners and two of Sarah’s short films. Filmmaker Barbara Hammer and Sarah’s mother Ruth will then speak and introduce “Mary Jane’s Not a Virgin Any More.” The evening will also include video tributes from Sarah’s fans and friends including Kathleen Hanna, Allison Anders, Tamra Davis, Sam Green, George Kuchar, Michelle Handelman, and Craig Baldwin.

Glasslands is located at 289 Kent Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11211
[L] to Bedford, [J] to Marcy


Happy Presidents Day!

Filed under: Holiday — posted by Chris @ 11:09 am


February 12

Women LIKE-like NICE-nice guys, guys!

Filed under: issues,Psychology — posted by Paula @ 10:32 am

This recent study suggests that women looking for mates think altruism is…sexy.

No surprise here.  At BG HQ we like nice guys!  As this classic letter affirms, being a good person does not have to mean being the (sad trombone) Nice Guy who doesn’t get any play. (Pay close attention to the comments section there–good additional insights about confidence vs arrogance.)


Getting over him in 8 songs or less

Filed under: media,pop culture,Treats — posted by Mia @ 8:58 am

This Valentine’s Day, TOMORROW, PEOPLE, February 14th, at 7:30pm, HBO 2 will premier Debra J. Solomon’s animated short film Getting Over Him in 8 Songs or Less. The film chronicles the period in Solomon’s life just after her husband of 17 years — 17 years! — leaves her. Nearly paralyzed with loss and loneliness, she found herself writing songs. That process became this film: directed, written, sung, narrated, and generally made wonderful by Debra J. Solomon, of whom I am now a huge fan.

While I’m not going currently going through a rough breakup, I’ve been through some so cataclysmic and life-altering I probably still need therapy, and that’s just what Debra’s film gave me. Her songs aren’t so much steps to recovery as earnest expressions of all the painful questions, doubts, and disappointments that one experiences when someone they’ve built their life around suddenly walks away. Solomon doesn’t dwell on her own details, but we certainly feel like we get to know her — and root for her. Her songs are personal and poignant, but their universal themes will speak to any aching heart.


Valentine’s date with an ex?

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:47 am

Tough choices on February 8, 1999

Dear Breakup Girl,

My boyfriend and I were together for 8 1/2 months, quite a feat for two seniors in high school. We broke up not too long ago, but the relationship has really been over for longer than that. At the beginning, everything was wonderful. He was different from the typical guy that I was attracted to, but that was part of the attraction. Eventually, we decided to have sex– something that I had always wanted to wait until marriage for. But after many, many make out sessions and many, many conversations on how to protect ourselves, and many, many “I love you”s, I changed my mind. Sex wasn’t something that I actually enjoyed a whole lot, because basically, I just felt really mad at myself for giving into something when I had felt so strongly about remaining a virgin until marriage.

Anyway, after our decision to bring sex into the relationship, I became extremely emotional (my guess is that it was because of the strong attatchment to him combined with my troubled thoughts and possibly some side effects to the Pill). I didn’t want to be with him any longer because all it did was remind me of how I had let myself down.

So, after two months of “trying to make things work” and a lot of tears, we broke up. I thought that it would feel horrible and it did, but only for a few days. I realized that I was better off now (no more guilt) and that we would always stay friends… which basically is what we had become by the end of the relationship.

All right, oh wise Breakup Girl, here is my question. “Jeff” called me a few days ago and asked me if I wanted to spend Valentine’s Day with him. He says that V-Day is a day to spend time with someone special and that I am that someone–his best friend. So I am wrestling with my heart and mind, which are extremely conflicting at the moment. What do I do? I would love to spend the day with him (the plan would be to go out to lunch or dinner and maybe a movie), but I am afraid that we would do something stupid and get back together — something that I don’t want right now. He is my best friend, on the other hand, and it would be good to see him and just hang out. Breakup Girl, please help!

— Horribly Confused



TODAY: Just-married counseling!

Filed under: books — posted by Breakup Girl @ 7:09 am

Thinking of getting married? Just a small City Hall ceremony with a justice of the peace — and a therapist? Today’s your day. See this goodie from BG’s PR wire:



(New York, NY) “With the escalating divorce rate it is crucial to give just-wed couples something much more fortifying than a Victoria’s Secret leopard and lace teddy,” says relationship author Sherry Amatenstein, LMSW. To kick off her mission Amatenstein, author of the just-published THE COMPLETE MARRIAGE COUNSELOR: Relationship-Saving Advice from the Top 50 + Couples Therapists , will bring along a therapist couch from Washington Square Institute in the village where she is a staff therapist.

Says the expert, “Instead of throwing rice, I’ll hand couples a book and a sheet containing the collected wisdom of the top 67 marriage counselors in the country and in some instances offer an on the spot mini-session!” Amatenstein adds, “I’m open to being a witness if called upon.”

Says Helen Fisher, author of Why Him, Why Her: The Complete Marriage Counselor “is a wonderful book…full of ideas about how to make the partnership you really want.”

WHEN: February 12, 2010 – 10 AM to 1 PM

WHO: Sherry Amatenstein, LMSW, couples counselor at Washington Square Institute and author of THE COMPLETE MARRIAGE COUNSELOR

WHAT: Romantic triage for just-wed couples

WHERE: City Clerk’s Office, 141 Worth Street

New York, NY 10013

Often couples wait until things are very bad before communicating issues that are wrong. Probably the most important bit of advice imparted by the experts who include John Gray, Harville Hendrix and Judy Kuriansky, according to Amatenstein: “It’s never too early to get a head start on your marriage…Even if that marriage is of five minutes’ duration!”

Amatenstein plans an as-yet-unscheduled visit to Las Vegas chapels, home of the quickie wedding. A second phase of her marriage-saving tour will include stops at the two top honeymoon destinations Hawaii and the Bahamas.


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