MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you can find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week Lynn aides a gal who might Need Closure. You see, she was interested in her younger boss but he always resisted any office romance — or was that just an excuse? Anyway, now she’s quit and …

Since I left his office, I have dropped 20 pounds (more to go) and had what my friends call a “makeover.” Should I give it one last face-to-face shot—or just walk away for good?

Do you think this is the right strategy? Read the full letter at Happen Magazine plus Lynn’s response, then add your own thoughts here in the comments below!

Mixing work and play on April 6, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I’m a single guy in my mid-twenties. I’ve been seeing this girl for several months, and everything’s been fine until lately. See, she’s my boss — mid-thirties, recently divorced (about a year ago).

I know she’s probably just using me, but that’s okay by me when we’re not at the office. But lately she’s been wanting to get, er, frisky…at the office, during work hours. That’s where I draw the line. We’ve always been good about keeping business and pleasure separate up until now, but I’m afraid of getting busted in the act and ruining my reputation at work. But I’m afraid if I break it off with her, she’ll trash my career. What should I do?

— Jake in Jacksonville

Dear Jake,

You’re right; getting “frisky” at the office will not put you on the short list for Employee of the Month. Then again, neither will dumping your boss.

Oh, Jake, what were you thinking?! See, you guys, that’s why I’m telling you that whatever you pursue at the office has to hold promise of an Actual Relationship, not just Adult Xeroxing.

Bail, bail, bail. And pray that she doesn’t retaliate. If you do wind up having to leave, well, let’s just say that BG is not convinced that you had wholesome, promising growith opportunities at Disclosure, Inc. in the first place. Also, remember that if you interview elsewhere, you’re going to have to tell them why you left your previous job. I’d fib.

Love,
Breakup Girl

Getting nothing Donne on April 6, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

This isn’t a breakup question. It’s a get together question, but you handle tough relationship questions so well that I know you’ll do me right. I am in a sensitive situation (at least it seems that way to me), and I am so busy thinking about the right thing to do that I can’t seem to do anything.

I am slowly going crazy for a younger woman who I supervise at work. She is beautiful, sweet, interesting, motivated, and very captivating to me. I think that the energy is there working both ways, but how do you know for sure without testing it? She meets my gaze so direct with quivering eyes, she does nice little things for me she doesn’t have to do, and she even gave me a little hand-written, contemplative poem recently. The thing is that she is very nice with everyone, and in my position, the last thing I want is a harassment situation at work. Even more, I don’t want to come on to her and end up making work a difficult place for her to be.

My friends give me different advice. Two think that this could be a real good thing if it would work out the way it feels for me, so I should do whatever is necessary to find out. Another thinks that I have a responsibility in my position to keep “hands off” regardless.

Am I roping myself up too tightly? Where is the right place for a guy to draw a line for himself?

— Jeremy

(more…)

It’s definitely not working, on February 2, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

Eight months ago, my best friend/boss started sleeping with my husband of six months. After a minor nervous breakdown (in which I bought a convertible and dyed my hair blonde), I went back to work. My question is: Am I justified in referring to her to customers as a “badly-dressed Petri dish”? And what underhanded and nasty things do you suggest to continue in my quest to be a constant and bitter thorn in her side?

— Beth

 
Dear Beth,

One of the problems with the “Petri dish” metaphor is that your customers, like Breakup Girl, will not really be sure what you mean. But there are much more important issues here. Calling her mean names is — here it comes again — legal (in a First Amendment sense), but tacky. Breakup Girl has always discouraged “underhanded and nasty acts” as a means of revenge. Why? Because they make you look bad — to the people in front of whom you most want to look good: (1) the evildoer(s), and (2) yourself. When you look back, you feel worse.

The best way to get back at those who have done you wrong is to immediately be successful all areas of your life. You were on the right track with the car and the hair.

Love,
Breakup Girl

Lady, That’s My Skull is our favorite blog that combines kitschy comics history and all things Sleestak. Here’s a delightful time-capsule from the Fifties that they uncovered recently…

In this tale torn from real life, secretarial pool-member Kathy shows the office skanks that predatory slutting around is not the only way to trap a man into giving up his freedom.

Read the rest at Lady, That’s My Skull…