An international incident from June 15, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I have lived together with this girl for two years, and before that we dated for about two years. I have wanted a long time to break up, but she doesn’t want to. I have been very open and honest about what I feel, and am asking her several times a week to move out. She refuses, says she can’t move out and that she feels unsafe in this big town without me (which is a European capital — she comes from a smaller place some 300 miles from here, and moved here to be with me). Every time I bring the topic up, she thinks I’m being mean. We live in a flat which I own and that I lived alone in for 11 months before she moved in. I really want to break up. To change locks or contact the police or some other authority seems so mean, but sometimes seems like the only option. Is there a nicer way?

— Anders

BG’s answer after the jump!

A rough outline from January 12, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I want to break up with my boyfriend of 5 years, because we are not compatible long-term (read: marriage). I should have done this many years ago, but I loved him and couldn’t. Now although I still love him, I think I finally have the courage to tell him I want out, but I don’t know how to broach the subject. I have thought of an approach where I discuss:

1) The current situation (i.e. everything that’s going wrong)
2) His future plans and mine (i.e. that they’re incompatible)
3) Therefore, we need to split.

(more…)

Breaking free on January 12, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

How do I tell the man that I’m engaged to that I don’t want to marry him anymore and that I want to move out?

— Heather

Dear Heather,

I would mumble.

Love,
Breakup Girl

P.S. Other than that — Breakup Girl has said this before, and she will no doubt say it again — just tell the plain old icky truth. Sugar-coating or BSing will only make it worse. Also, if you truly do want out, mumble — I mean, speak up — soon. The closer you get to your wedding date, the harder it will get for you to do what you need to, and the more nuclear the fallout will be.

Classic letter from January 9, 1998 …

Dear Breakup Girl,
If I have just dumped my boyfriend, do you think he will tell his friends that he was the one who dumped me?
— The Heartbreaker

Dear Heartbreaker,
Yeah, probably. If he’s a real prince of a guy, he’ll say “It was mutual.”
Love,
Breakup Girl