Re: Gifting on December 7, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

Okay, un petit dilemma. It being the festive, gift-giving season and all, I thought you might be able to help with a somewhat topical question: What do you do about boyfriends who give lame presents?

Let me elaborate:

I love my boyfriend dearly. We have our ups and downs, but on the whole things are great. We’ve been together over three years.

Just one itty bitty li’l problem surfaced — it was my birthday. Now, my boyfriend used to give utterly lame presents for birthdays and Christmas, but he’s been steadily improving. This year, I got a pair of garnet earrings for my birthday — doubly great when he’d sworn never to buy me jewelry until I agreed to get engaged to him (whole ‘nother story).

The problem is that he thinks he was being really thoughtful and sweet and getting me something great. I already have one pair of garnet earrings — with nicer stones, even — and I never wear those. He just didn’t think, I guess. (He also helped his folks pick out a present for me, which was a dismal book I have no interest in reading, and really isn’t “me” at all.)

Trouble is, he gets all enthusiastic about stuff and thinks “Wow, that’s so great, must buy that for my girl!” without stopping to think whether or not I need or want it, or would even like it. The garnet earrings would not have been cheap, either, and it pains me to see him spending so much money on a present which, let’s face it, fails to hit the mark.

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Dear Breakup Girl,

I have been following Scone Boy’s predicament with interest, because his situation resembles mine. Except I’m pretty sure that I have in fact seen the letters “HELP ME” traced in the condensation on the window of the speeding car.

Background. Dated him for a year. Was absolutely nuts about him. He gave me some nice gifts, two of which were very personal and which he made for me. (These figure later in the story.) About a year and a half ago, he bolted. We’re talking disappeared for a month. I finally left him a message: “Haven’t heard from you, how have you been?” “I’ve been OK, just haven’t had much to say.” Smitten though I was, I knew this was a Very Bad Thing, and, despite his protests, I broke it off and returned all the gifts. A year and a half later, my life is mostly OK–friends, other men, recreation, work.

He never seemed to accept the break. Kept in touch, occasionally because of a “Haven’t seen you in awhile, how have you been?” from me, but mostly on his own initiative. More than once he has expressed hurt and resentment at my having returned the gifts. At one point he gave some of them back to me–not the most personal ones–but his subsequent behavior was so annoying that I gave them back again, much more rudely than the first time. I told him to just leave me alone. He went to my friends in an attempt to “explain” himself. More dialogue ensued. Right now he is in touch more than ever, and we’re closer than ever, partly because of his new willingness to really open up to me.

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Wrapping it up on December 14, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

Oh my GOSH. Your letter from Moogirl made me SOOO mad. You know — the girlie whose boyfriend was getting her lame presents? Listen — let me tell you why, and maybe you can give me some advice about the situation, yah?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years, and we’ve lived together for one of those years (actually a little more than that now). Anyfoo, we’re very happy. I love him, he loves me, we get along wonderfully, blah blah blah.

The problem is – he has let my birthday pass by twice with little or no fanfare.. and absolutely NO GIFT! The first time, he asked me a few times what I wanted for my birthday, and I hinted towards a few things, and made oh-so obvious hints when we went anywhere together like “OOOH! Look at that Sweater Set! I hope someone buys that for me for my birthday!” or “Wow! Look at that necklace.. my dad got one just like that for my mom’s birthday one year, she loved it, it was so pretty, I remember wishing I’d have a guy who would do something like THAT for me someday.. you know, with a necklace like THAT.. you know, THAT one.” I’m not kidding, BG, I was that obvious (That is obvious, right?).

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Predicament of the Week from June 29, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

After three years together and two years of friendship my girlfriend broke up with me…over the phone. She informed me that she did not want a relationship and then refused to talk to me about it because she was late for a movie! I tried calling her later that evening and once more she refused to talk about the breakup, only saying she enjoyed being single, and hung up on me. A few days later she sent me an e-mail saying that she never said goodbye and that she needed time; our time together, she went on, was important to her, and she would never give up all the gifts and stuffed toys I had given her over the years. She told me she would call me on Thursday — well, Thursday came and went and she did not call. I worried, so I called her and her first words were, “I’m going out with someone else now and there is no chance of us getting back together.”

It only gets worse after the jump…

… yeah, sorry, that just doesn’t say I love you at all.

(And yet it is still teh awesome.)

Via DJDistracted.

Until the apocalypse? Fortunately, no, though that’s pretty much the story of Buffy’s life. Actually, January 19 is evidently Buffy Summers’ birthday* — and KabaLounge is throwing a virtual party.

Here’s the parlor game: If you could give Buffy Summers one birthday gift, what would it be?

Send them your creative idea for the perfect birthday gift for Buffy. One (1) winner will receive a page of original art from Season 8 drawn by Georges Jeanty!

See KabaLounge for details and official rules. Me, I’m thinking some nice scented candles.

* Coincidence/conspiracy: it’s also the release date for Buffy issue #40!

BG — though still, of course, on call — is curled up with Glee: The Christmas Album and some Jacques Torres Wicked Hot. Until she’s back to her regular schedule, please enjoy these holiday features!

• A Very Breakup Girl Christmas! Party tips, gift ideas, and more!

• Advice: Click here for the main archive, and then click through the 6 different “Holiday” columns.

• Comic: It’s A Wonderful Site!

Merry everything to all!

See you in 2011.

Love,

Breakup Girl

Classic advice from April 13, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

My boyfriend of three years has no clue what to do as far as romance, gifts, and manners. I love him a lot and we want to get married someday, but I’m not so sure. I can’t count on him, and every holiday when we get each other stuff, he puts no thought into the gifts and gets me the cheapest thing he can find (even leaves the price tag on stuff). I put a lot of thought into his gifts and I try to be as sweet and thoughtful as I can, I have even tried to give him tips ….? What to do?

— Carrie

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MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you can find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week Lynn counsels Tired of Asking For Answers, whose boyfriend is “respectful and loving” — yet, never initiates time together or reciprocates any gift giving …

…his lack of motivation is turning me off and making me think I’m wasting my time. Why is it that I can shower him with gifts and my time and he won’t return the favor?

Even though he’s talked about their future together, is he really just not that into her? Or is she asking too much? Read the letter at Happen, then chime in below!

Cintra Wilson explores Tiffany & Co. with sharp ear, tart tongue:

I have always been mystified by Tiffany’s heart-shaped silver dog tags, worn on a choke chain, with the engraved instructions, “Please Return to Tiffany & Co.” This, I have always assumed, is precautionary: If your lady gets lost, someone will put her on a plane back to the jewelry store. In any case, they are hugely popular.

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