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December 21

Marry? Christmas?

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:24 am

Moving fast on December 14, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I am currently in a relationship with a really nice guy. I told him initially that I just wanted to be friends, but he insisted that I give him a chance. I did and we are really great friends and lovers, the problem is that he lives in DC and I live in NY. He wants me to quit my job and move in with him. I love my job and I do not want to give up my job or my life for anyone. I am at the height of my career and feel that there should be some compromise on the part of both people, not just one person.

He says he agrees, but gives me this sorry excuse that he can’t move to NY. He is now talking about getting married and taking a vacation together this Christmas. He introduced me to his family, which I was not ready for at all. I have only known him for 3 months and I have expressed that I think he is moving way too fast. I have been thinking about breaking up with him, but he will not take no for an answer. I also don’t want to be rude and hurt his feelings and risk losing a great friend; but, he’s at the point where he is entirely too overbearing and pushy. Please advise.


BG’s advice after the jump!


October 20

Family, photos

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:35 am

Sorting it out on August 24, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

My boyfriend and I broke up five weeks ago, after a little over a year. Mostly he broke up with me, but I sort of put myself in the way of it, too.

Tensions had been building for a few months. I was really in love, and it was pretty painful to be “too serious” with an otherwise wonderful, lovable guy who would every now and then begin talking about his fantasy around-the-world solo adventure, complete with sex and the exotic, unknown foreign woman. You can see how that might bother me.

He was a great guy in most ways, but when they talk about the “Seinfeld phenomenon” of men who don’t want to grow up…well, that was this guy, I think. Really nice, really smart, really sensitive and sensual…and really afraid of settling down and being in love with a great, gainfully employed, attractive, healthy woman who wants a life with someone. Why, he might miss out on a one-night stand with another one of the addictive-personality emotional train wrecks he dated before he met me…OK, I’m a little bitter.

Now, I miss him like hell.



January 25

This week at Happen: Is he psyching himself out?

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:57 am

MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you can find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week Lynn advises a woman who fears she may be A Victim of His Past. Everything was going fine in this new relationship, but then

About two weeks ago he started becoming distant and I asked him about it. He said he wasn’t sure what was going on, but he just woke up one morning and felt like things were moving too fast.

How does this happen? Could his recent reservations stem from a previous relationship that ended badly? Read the whole saga at Happen, then come back here to comment!


December 8

Help for the Holidazed

Filed under: Advice,Holiday — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:06 am

The winter holidays can be a tough time of year whether or not there’s a dependent Claus in your life. It’s hard to be single at Yuletide, because for one thing, you have to hear your parents say things like, “Won’t your friend be joining us this year?” and “Well, did you sit with anyone interesting on the train?” and “Are you sure you have a good dermatologist?” It’s also hard to be in a couple at the holidays, because it’s … expensive. What to do? How much to spend? Where to kiss? What is wassail? Here’s Breakup Girl’s mini-FAQ…

Should I buy my new boyfriend/girlfriend a holiday present?

Ah, a common problem: meeting someone just before a major gift-giving holiday. (There’s also the less common — but perhaps more serious — problem of meeting someone just before a non-gift-giving holiday, and giving him something anyway — planting a tree in his honor on Arbor Day, for example. )

So here’s the rule of thumb: at the early stage, your presents should not be commanding. In other words,
DO: pick up a little something sweet, warm, or fuzzy — chocolate, mittens, dice — that says “Hey there, I think you’re kinda sweet, warm, and fuzzy.”
DON’T regale him with anything time-consuming, grand, or intimidating — a ten-course dinner, a romantic weekend at a B&B, a mortgage — that says “Sit here, stay here, sign here.” Give someone new that kind of Christmas gift, and I give your relationship, oh, 12 days.



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