Insanely great*: Life Magazine, January 26, 1948
Quoth our tipster: More than 99% of these pages are UTTERLY FASCINATING. Wow. Post-war, pre-Mad Men enthusiasm, one foot in each half of the century. Amazing. At least buzz through the first 30 or so pages, including the “Atomic Road Show.” The Hollywood stuff is priceless.
Are you nuts about bolts?
* By “great,” we don’t mean “It would be great to roll back the clock on 62 years of feminism!” “Great,” as in, utterly glorious in its wacky retro exuberance.
Text messages are the new lipstick on the collar, the mislaid credit card bill. Instantaneous and seemingly casual, they can be confirmation of a clandestine affair, a record of the not-so-discreet who sometimes forget that everything digital leaves a footprint.
This became painfully obvious a week ago when a woman who claims to have had an affair with Tiger Woods told a celebrity publication that he had sent her flirty text messages, some of which were published. It follows on the heels of politicians who ran afoul of text I.Q., including a former Detroit mayor who went to prison after his steamy text messages to an aide were revealed, and Senator John Ensign of Nevada, whose affair with a former employee was confirmed by an incriminating text message.
Unlike earlier eras when a dalliance might be suspected but not confirmed, nowadays text messages provide proof. Divorce lawyers say they have seen an increase in cases in the past year where a wronged spouse has offered text messages to show that a partner has strayed. The American Bar Association began offering seminars this fall for marital attorneys on how to use electronic evidence — text messages, browsing history and social networks — in proving a case.
Read the rest here. Of course, this also totally happened on Glee.
I am one of approximately four female mortals who has not read any of Stephenie Meyer’s Twilightbooks, but am always curious about a literary phenomenon that a) gets kids reading and b) gets money into the pockets of a female writer (since acclaim seems woefully lacking these days).
Despite my concern that Meyer’s vampire novels are not fact-based (everyone knows vampires burn up in direct sunlight — they don’t sparkle, for God’s sake), I say kudos to her for creating some characters so indelible that people who have never read the books can have opinions on them. And indeed, perhaps young Twilight fans can go on to explore other “literary hotties,†guided by this YourTango post, Seven Book Characters Hotter than Edward Cullen.
CAUTION: Not including Zooeyor Adso of Melk casts grave doubts on this list’s accuracy! Any additions of your own?
Is it cold in here, or is it just misogyny? “It’s not healthy to be a female character in comics,” notes writer and comic book fangirl Gail Simone, compiler of a grim list called Women In Refrigerators. Refrigerators? Refrigerators. And we’re not (necessarily) talking about women who are experts in cryogenic engineering.
The story: One day a while back, Simone began to realize that most of her favorite female superheroes wound up de-powered, raped, or cut up and stuffed in a refrigerator. Granted, they’re superheros, so they’re in the line of fire, but still. The particular punishments and demises, she observed, appeared to be particularly cruel and disproportionate. So Simone started to make a list of all the female superheroes she knew and what had become of them. Circulated through e-mail and bulletin board systems, the WiR list grew to reflect the contributions and reactions of fans along with responses from some professional creators about their chosen plot devices.
The list doesn’t attempt to catalog the vast list of wives and girlfriends who suffer at the hands of Women in Refrigerator syndrome, described as, “WiR referring to a female character’s death having no real lasting impact or importance to the writer after the initial incident.”
As a comic fan and superhero sidekick, I find this pile of evidence depressing. Are breakups really too rough for superheroes to handle? Why is it easier to devise these ghastly ways to make women go away?
The list, and the term, have been in existence for some time (full history here). What really makes me mad is (a) that it’s still relevant, especially considering that (b) the “meme” is hardly confined to the world of comic books and fantasy. Between women’s health care needs being discredited and devalued in the national health care debate (e.g., domestic violence as a preexisting condition), and with pop culture at large suffering from Women in Refrigerator Syndrome (last week Good Morning America cancelled the appearance of Adam Lambert because of his bawdy behavior at the American Music Awards, instead welcoming convicted felony girlfriend abuser Chris Brown.
Talk about still needing to get women out of the kitchen. I will not be taking off my ass-kicking boots or supersidekick spandex any time soon.
Ah, breakup songs. They’re so often set on infinite repeat in our souls. So you oughta know: are they unhealthy in their forwarding of a pro-wallow agenda?
Not necessarily so, says Thao Nguyen — she of Thao and the Get Down Stay Down (a personal fave band o’mine, although better known for the sort of “something with shouting and hand claps in the chorus” songs which Nguyen identifies here as totally not breakup-friendly). In this nice commentary in Bitch Magazine, Nguyen celebrates the therapeutic salve of a deeply felt, fully embraced breakup song. And she’s got an I’m-OK-you’re-OK take on the importance of the dirge for the recently dumped:
“It is the sauna where all your emotions gather after work and sit and talk shit or breathe deeply and with each action make themselves hotter and sweatier until there is such frenzied perspiration you are crying on the outside, probably alone in your car. The breakup song serves a very specific role in the triage of heartbreak. I’m not saying it’s healthy to delve and wallow — but I am saying everyone I know does it, so let us honor the sad, slow breakup song for the fucked-up and necessary friend it is.”
Breakup bonus: Included at essay’s end is Nguyen’s personally curated track list for the all-time heartbreak catalog. Comment or add your own here!
According to former FBI agent and flashy author Joe Navarro –“the nonverbal expert‖ two major body-language indicators can hint at whether your mate is “still into you†(Navarro’s words, not mine — can we please retire this expression? Also, “cougarâ€? Thanks) or whether your relationship is headed south.
As Navarro explains in a recent article in Psychology Today, the first clue that a true connection exists between you and a loved one lies in the hands — when your snookums places a full, flat palm on your body (“palmer touching,†which kind of lacks frisson), this is a sign of real bonding and trust. The longer they leave it there, the warmer the relationship.
If, on the other, uh, hand, your partner tends only to touch briefly or with the fingertips (“distal touchingâ€), the passion may be fading.
Now I’m smacking myself on the forehead. (“Duh touching.”)
The other nonverbal clue is what body-language professionals call “ventral fronting†— when your mate approaches you, does he or she face you head-on with no obstruction to the belly area? This is a subconscious behavior that signifies trust and affection. (Think “happy puppy getting her belly rubbed.â€) Couples whose trust and affection are waning tend to face their abdominal regions away from each other (“ventral denialâ€), or hide behind crossed arms, purses, the Sunday Times, etc. Or Spanx?
Navarro uses obvious examples from pop culture (Jon & Kate, Chuck & Di) to illustrate his point, and concludes by saying:
… when it comes to interpersonal relationships, how we touch and how we present our ventral side says so much about the health and longevity of our relationship…
No argument there — body language is visceral and immediate and can help us understand what people are thinking and feeling in the moment.
However! A couple of things are bugging me, which you might be able to tell by the way I am currently placing a large cheese sandwich between my belly and the keyboard.
For one thing, articles like this, in seemingly respectable (albeit pop-psych, not scientific) magazines, seem to play right into that women’s-magazine-of-yore myth that the only way to understand your partner is to desperately seek for clues.
If you are reduced to reading body language to determine whether someone really loves you, doesn’t that in itself indicate some basic disconnect? (I’m asking, not telling, so weigh in if you disagree!)
Secondly, while I understand and support the value of observing nonverbal behavior, I also know that individuals behave differently under different circumstances — a distal touch here and a ventral denial there may simply indicate that a person is not feeling present, is distracted or nervous. Or just got their nails done. I don’t think that Navarro does a good enough job explaining that the occasional pair of crossed arms does not a relationship fiasco make.
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