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September 18

Area woman overshares

Filed under: Treats — posted by Maria @ 4:39 pm

I think we all know this gal:

“Having such an optimistic outlook on her love life is not uncommon for Castlen, who since reaching dating age has undergone more than 23 changes in relationship status, ranging from long-term abstinence to a brief but intense affair with a married man. The 26-year-old has also celebrated three serious relationships that lasted the perfect length of time, five just-what-she-needed dumpings, two hookups with ex-boyfriends that ‘gave her closure,’ and an abruptly canceled engagement that Castlen said she couldn’t have planned better herself. “

Hey, at least she’s happy!

Thanks, Onion.

(Bonus: New Nervous-Energy Drink Recreates Feeling Of Waiting For Girl To Call)



Filed under: News — posted by Maria @ 2:09 pm

Worse for me than the sound of the morning alarm is the buzz of my boyfriend’s Wackberry vibrating on the bedside table. Seriously, dude. Since when is texting more important than spooning?

But that even louder buzz you hear is the sound of 5,655 people like me grumbling about their partners.  Men’s News Daily reports this tidbit from Sheraton Hotel’s recent survey  of 6,500 traveling executives: 87 percent of them admitted, likely propped up with pillows and a scowling spouse at their side, that they bring their Blackberries to bed. And: 35 percent of them said they’d choose their PDA over their spouse. YIKES! Of course, those couples may have issues that predate the telegraph, but still.

So yeah, my boyfriend — who is not even an executive, but clearly some sort of international man of mystery — definitely brings his phone to bed. I mean, phones. He has two Blackberries plus a third phone, which is like a Bat phone for his ex, who is the only one with the number — but that’s a different story.


Going Lloyd Dobler one better

Filed under: Treats — posted by Colin @ 5:30 am

It’s not easy to outdo the boom-box-over-the-head if you want to impress your girl, but apparently, it’s technically possible:

The time I spent with the RAF earlier this year made me realize how much I love flying,” said [Prince] William, who was criticized for landing an air force helicopter on his girlfriend Kate Middleton’s lawn during his training, and for using another chopper to fly to a bachelor party on the Isle of Wight.

Now that’s rakish. And blimey, would it be fun to be able to answer the usually rhetorical question, “And who are you, the King of England?” with a cheeky-but-accurate, “Well, not just yet….”


September 17

Sexy Super-Thief Strikes Pompous Politico!

Filed under: Superheroes,Treats — posted by Sadie @ 10:17 am

Don’t you wish this sort of thing happened in real life?

A blatant, bling-laden, warmongering jerkwad receives quick and humiliating justice when a mysterious super-person of questionable ethics (hero? villain? you be the judge!) lays a seductive trap using ToolBoy’s own ego against him.

Oh, wait. I guess in this season of political celebrities and scandal, when the plots of comic books and Times articles can be easily quilted together like partisan MadLibs, “reality,” while very grim,  is also occasionally entertaining.

I’m talking, of course, about the case of Mr. Gabriel Schwartz. After a busy day telling LinkTV.org he supports a platform of “less taxes, more war,” which Team BG can’t defend even grammatically, the 29-year-old attorney and delegate to the Republican National Convention is now missing at least $50,000 worth of loot (possibly up to $120,000, say the cops).

You see,  just hours after Schwartz’s feisty interview, he met a young lady in a hotel bar, took her to his swanky room — and when he woke up, he just couldn’t figure out where he’d left his favorite $30,000 watch. Or the $20,000 ring. Or the $4000 earrings. Or the $1000 Prada belt.




September 16

Beer Googles

Filed under: Advice,Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 11:10 am

Once upon a time, BG had a perfectly magical date with a then-obscure movie star who, as it turned out, was apparently on a different date at the time. One of the fun parts of the story (and its two-years-later coda) is this: the friends who set us up had told me way too much about him. I knew his hobbies, his college major, his newborn niece’s infelicitous name. The challenge for me, then, was to react to his biographical information as if it were news (“Econ, huh? So then how’d you get into acting?”) and to not ask questions about things I wasn’t supposed to know yet (“How’s your niece? I mean — how’s Nice? In the summer? Ever been?”) I met this challenge, thankyouverymuch, but it required a mighty effort. And nohedidn’tcallwhateverthat’snotthepoint.

The point is: that was before Google.



September 15

Let’s do the Time Warp again! Please?

Filed under: Celebrities,Treats,TV — posted by Breakup Girl @ 2:23 pm

Rocky! Brad! Giles!
Rocky Horror… Buffy cast members… head exploding…


Dumper’s Dilemma

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:41 am

Classic LetterChickening out on January 9, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,
What if you know you need to break up with him, but you really don’t want to?

Dear Lyna,
Is everybody listening? Thanks, Lyna — Breakup Girl couldn’t have put the Dumper’s Dilemma better herself.

IMPORTANT BREAKUP GIRL MAXIM: “Because he’s there” is not a good enough reason to stay with a boyfriend (especially, you long-distance people, when he’s not). Nor is “because breaking up sucks.”

Breaking up does suck, you guys. That’s why I’m here. But trust me, feeling sad and yucky is better than feeling confused and stuck. The latter destroys brain cells, permanently. The former — unpleasant though it may be — is the first step of the heart’s healing process. But the longer you wait once you realize you need to do the deed, the longer that process is going to take.

Breakup Girl


He Said – She Said

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:36 am

Classic LetterClassic letter from January 9, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,
If I have just dumped my boyfriend, do you think he will tell his friends that he was the one who dumped me?
— The Heartbreaker

Dear Heartbreaker,
Yeah, probably. If he’s a real prince of a guy, he’ll say “It was mutual.”
Breakup Girl


Now at MSN.com: Profiles in hiding

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:37 am

Here, your weekly installment of Ask Lynn, the advice column penned by BG’s alter ego at MSN.com (powered by Match.com). This week, we meet (again, for some reason that BG’s supercomputer has yet to determine; stay tuned) A Little Worn Out (ALWO), who was searching online for matches for a friend when this great guy came up. As in, the great guy ALWO was already dating. For three months! Why was his profile still active? Was she actively being played? “He hasn’t made any promises, but I don’t want to make a complete idiot out of myself, either,” she writes. How to handle it without being either passive or aggressive? Read Lynn’s response, and then come back here to comment!

Update: There are some structural changes going on over at MSN.com, after which the new Ask Lynns will wind up on a new page. So, just for now, this blast from the recent past!


September 12

Post-it palooza

Filed under: Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 3:24 pm

Sticky notes: they’re not just a really bad way to break up with someone.

Check this out.

Brought to you by these guys. (Geek crush!)

Have a great weekend!

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