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December 7

F*ck queue

Filed under: pop culture,Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 11:14 am

Currently making the rounds: a thoroughly modern tale of revenge via Netflix. As Helena Popkin reports at MSNBC:

It takes a cuckold of true imagination, and at least a passing knowledge of the Netflix movie-suggesting algorithm to strike out in a subtle and personal way, it wins the (somewhat horrified) admiration of Web community Reddit, the primordial ooze of current Internet creativity.

“My girlfriend cheated on me, so I rated movies in her netflix account until I reached the desired result,” wrote Reddit user Contra3, who posted the…screen grab [at right] as evidence of his handiwork.

As you’ll see, a theme has emerged among the movies Netflix now thinks Girlfriend Non Grata will <3, such as The Scarlet Letter, Unfaithful, and, well, Whore. While BG generally objects to revenge (and, for that matter, to usingwhore” and “slut” as insults), I gotta say this one made me crack a smile. So now the bar’s set pretty high. Next time you contemplate revenge, ask yourself: is my scheme as clever/elegant/no-one-(else)-gets-hurt as Contra3’s? (And does it involve Bambi?)

More on revenge here!


December 6

Ask Lynn at Yahoo: My boyfriend has a profile up

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:28 am

MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. This Ask Lynn column is being promoted at Match on Yahoo this week…

This week Lynn helps a gal who says All Confidence is Gone because she found out her boyfriend has an active profile on an online dating site…

Things have been really great between us, so I’m confused about why he’s looking elsewhere. I’m so furious right now — part of me wants to post an active profile just like he did, just to spite him.

Wait, what was she doing when she found the profile? Anyway, see how Lynn would handle the sitch by reading the full letter at Yahoo, then come back here to comment below!


December 3

This is your brain on dumped

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:16 am

Cinco de Lame-o falls on April 27, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

A while ago, I was dumped, the same old excuse (“I’d just rather be friends”). Well, I’m still heartbroken, and the crappy thing is that while I’m mourning at home, he’s in Mexico having the time of his life. But back to the subject. I feel like if I go out with someone now, he will be mad at me, and he means a lot to me. What do you think I should do? I don’t want to be hated, but I don’t want to be single.

— Karen




Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:03 am

Breaking the ice on April 27, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I just started going out with this guy, but when I’m around him my mind goes blank and I have nothing to talk about. What do I say? Please answer!!

— Shelly

Dear Shelly,

Perhaps Breakup Girl is being old-fashioned, but in her day, you went out with someone because you had something to talk about. Maybe what you should say is: “Um, I’m not sure this is working out.”

Breakup Girl


December 2

Seeing your partner with a new sheen

Filed under: Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 11:08 am

I hesitate a bit here, because I do not relish mocking other people’s misfortune. But ultimately, this song is really about finding new appreciation for what’s great about your partner. (RIGHT?) And anyway, it’s almost as catchy as Matisyahu’s “Miracle.” Speaking of which, happy lights-fest, if applicable! Now, where were we…


December 1

Men like you better when you’re mediocre!

Filed under: issues,media — posted by Breakup Girl @ 11:16 am

Really, New York Times? The Gray Lady is at it again, telling women — in a dippy, unmoored “trend” piece — that you can be successful in work. Or love. Not both. See, because successful women scare the men away. That’s the price we pay, ladies, for liberation. “Is female empowerment killing romance?” asks the article, in a sentence so backlashtastic it’s not easy to cut and paste on a full stomach. I don’t know, I thought when female empowerment brought us the freedom to date and marry for love, not to mention use the Pill (speaking of which, must read this), that was kind of romantic. There’s so much else to eviscerate in this piece that I’m not even sure where to start, other than to say that when I opened the page and started reading, I literally had to scroll back up to the top to see if someone had accidentally sent me a link from 1997. Or 1957. Or — whatever.

Look, I’m sure there are men who are put off by “successful” — “ambitious,” “strong” etc. — women. I’m sure there have always been men like that. Even since before women were “liberated.” So, um, maybe that’s their problem? And even, even to the degree that men, en masse, are scared by female success, again: THEIR PROBLEM. Why is always women who have to dial it down? What’s more, the suggestion that so many menz are SO SCARED of SCARY SCARY WOMEN is ridonkulously insulting to men, too.

And then there’s this advice, annotated by BG in brackets:

Leave the snazzy company car at home on the first date [because MEN HATE SNAZZY CARS]; find your life partner in your 20s, rather than your 30s, before you’ve become too successful [show of hands: who in her 30s wishes they’d married that guy from their 20s?] [also, by the logic herein, that guy from your 20s will dump you when you become “too successful”]. And go after men who draw their confidence from sources other than money, like academics and artists [avoiding people who draw their confidence from money is sound advice for anyone; however — oh, for God’s sake, this is just silly].

The article does showcase some excellent boyfriends (who appear to be European. COINCIDENCE?!). See:

Ms. Kiechel in Paris says her boyfriend actively encourages her career and brags to friends how intelligent and hard-working she is. Ms. Haag and Ms. Domscheit-Berg both earn more than their husbands and report that their men actually enjoy watching the waiter’s reaction when they say their wife will pick up the tab.

That’s great and all, but it’s kind of like saying “How nice that your husband HELPS OUT with the baby!” The above attitudes should be a given, not a plus. And I know they are held by far more men than this article gives credit to. The day we’ve really achieved — or at least driven our snazzy cars closer to — liberation is the day we start to see articles telling the fellas that if they’re scared of successful women, they’re just gonna have to man up.

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