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October 24

Rebound, Inc.

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 9:11 am

Classic LetterMoving on from January 12, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

I just broke up with my beau of eight years; now I am FIERCELY attracted to a co-worker. I have never asked a guy out. Should I start now, and ask this one out?

–Hopeless


Dear Hopeless,

Of course you’re fiercely attracted to a co-worker. Let me guess: is it Bob from Accounting … or Joe from Rebound? Right after the end of such a long relationship, everyone’s going to look good — especially the beaux-to-be who are the worst ideas. Breakup Girl is not saying you should never ask this guy out. I am just saying that you need to be particularly circumspect about stirring up a solution that contains not one but two combustible ingredients. My advice: let Octavio from the Piercing Parlor be your rebound. Then see how good Joe looks to you in the company cafeteria.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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October 23

You’re cute, but my MacBook’s cuter

Filed under: Psychology — posted by Mia @ 6:35 am

It’s election time and we’re ALL poll-crazy. But do we really believe that a pregnant woman’s weight directly affects her child’s political leanings? Or that American women “prefer computers to men?” Well, maybe this fella. But that’s not my point!

The Telegraph reports that Yankee ladies “prefer” to spend most of their waking hours with their computer, not with their suitor (or their family, or their Exercycle).

Oh. Oh?

1. “Women.” Women? So there’s no difference between your grandma and your boss? Kay.

2. Men. We’re not going to address men’s computer usage: time at work, time at Warcraft, and stuff like that? Oh.

3. “Prefer.” Do I prefer to write, read, communicate, be employed? If women were not at work on the computer machine, does that mean that men would also quit their jobs so they could cuddle and take walks all day? Give me a billion dollars and we can all go start a commune (with wifi, or I ain’t stayin’)!

Sounds like the researchers may not understand what computers actually do, or how relationships actually work, for that matter. What if I’m talking to friends and family on the computer, and what if I do that in intervals all day long? What if I’m wooing a man? What if I’m on the laptop while on the couch with my mate? What if I’m buying us movie tickets? What if I’m shopping online? What if by shopping you distinguish shoe shopping in person from buying foot spray and diaper wipes for the menfolk and babies online because I’d rather spend my meager free hours not running errands?

This study doesn’t address the millions of social science studies showing that, despite working as many hours or longer than men, women still do most of the household chores, cooking, child-raising, man-pleasing, key-finding, vacation-planning than their male counterparts.

If women did NOT spend more time on the PC than on exercising, they’d have to work out more than 9 hours every day. Does that sound right to you? But the study makes it sound like it’s unfortunate that we don’t. I think they also just called us fat.

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October 22

Heartburn

Filed under: Uncategorized — posted by Breakup Girl @ 7:10 am

Intending no insensitivity toward serious health issues and their affect on relationships: As Slate.com’s Dear Prudence notes in response to this advice-seeker (scroll down to “Pursue or Quit”): “I don’t think I’ve ever read a better description of kismet than: ‘We both suffer from the same rare intestinal disease.'”

Perhaps, though, they’re just on the “rare” end of an entire spectrum. As our tipster notes, “It’s very hard for me to distinguish between infatuation and indigestion.”

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October 21

Suh-weet Lily Castle

Filed under: News,Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:56 am

Hey, girls!

Here’s where you can find your dreams of being an astronaut prince!

And your skeevy virginity symbolism!

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“Don’t worry, everyone — you’re safe”

Filed under: News — posted by Breakup Girl @ 7:11 am

Another quality No on Prop. 8 ad, brought to you by the people who make better inspired-by-the-Mac-vs.-PC ads than those other people.

(We’re having trouble with video embeds, so click here to watch it at YouTube.)

UPDATE: Ellen to the rescue! 


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October 20

Now at MSN.com: “Live free or die…alone?” & Saturdate?

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 12:03 pm

Due to some boring-to-explain structural changes over at MSN.com, BG’s alter ego’s column, Ask Lynn (powered by Match.com) now appears…well, it’s complicated. But it does appear! Currently still available for your reading pleasure: our friend up in New Hampshire, and our friend down on her luck with weekend dates. Please check them out and come back here to comment. And, if you have questions of your own, please email asklynn@match.com. Thanks!

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A romantic cruise with John Ashcroft!

Filed under: Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 7:18 am

 Hmm! Maybe a ticket to this is what you should send your ex.

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October 17

Dow down, hip-to-waist ratio up

Filed under: News,Psychology,Treats — posted by Breakup Girl @ 3:00 pm

Someone’s been reading academic journals for the articles! Marginal Revolution draws our attention to an article in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin entitled, no kidding, “Playboy Playmate Curves: Changes in Facial and Body Feature Preferences Across Social and Economic Conditions,” which posits that in lean times, men go for, well, lean women. In other words:”The Environmental Security Hypothesis says that in tough times men will prefer women who are good at production, generally older, taller, heavier, less curvaceous women with less body fat.  In good times, they will prefer women who are good at reproduction, generally younger, shorter, lighter, more curvaceous women.  Pettijohn and and Jungeberg look at the characteristics of playboy playmates from 1960 to 2000 and find:

Consistent with Environmental Security Hypothesis predictions, when social and economic conditions were difficult, older, heavier, taller Playboy Playmates of the Year with larger waists, smaller eyes, larger waist-to-hip ratios, smaller bust-to-waist ratios, and smaller body mass index values were selected. These results suggest that environmental security may influence perceptions and preferences for women with certain body and facial features. 

It’s not a new study, but it does invite speculation about what type of Playmate of the Year a 2009 economy will bring us. If things keep going the way they are now, my money’s on Rosie the Riveter.

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The truth will set you free

Filed under: Advice — posted by Breakup Girl @ 10:15 am

Classic LetterBreaking free on January 12, 1998

Dear Breakup Girl,

How do I tell the man that I’m engaged to that I don’t want to marry him anymore and that I want to move out?

— Heather

Dear Heather,

I would mumble.

Love,
Breakup Girl

P.S. Other than that — Breakup Girl has said this before, and she will no doubt say it again — just tell the plain old icky truth. Sugar-coating or BSing will only make it worse. Also, if you truly do want out, mumble — I mean, speak up — soon. The closer you get to your wedding date, the harder it will get for you to do what you need to, and the more nuclear the fallout will be.

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October 16

It’s almost impossible not to call this post “The Ex Files”

Filed under: Celebrities,News — posted by Breakup Girl @ 8:22 pm

I am totally calling AppleCare. HOW did the BG supercomputer miss this yesterday? No, not this, THIS! On the one hand, it’s no surprise, given this. On the other … aw, I’m just sad. They honestly seemed like a good match! (Not even gonna go into this.)

And, frankly, yes: I’m feeling a little bereft about the fact that neither has called BG for super-support. Guess maybe they’re aware of le petit conflict of interest?

So okay, I’m just going to pop some popcorn, make some Sleepytime, and work my way back through The Red Shoe Diaries to see if I can pinpoint exactly what went wrong.

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