Finally: Episode 1 of Joss Whedon’s (second) long-awaited supervillain musical is live today…and available for one week only! Run, don’t walk! While singing, of course.

It might be something like this.

Quoth the director in SciFi magazine: “[Episode] Five is about, obviously, zombies who eat fish. It’s about trout zombies, which is very exciting. And then the episode after that is about a group of intergalactic criminals masquerading as a boy band.” Top that!

Quoth our TV tipster: “Until another Wonderfalls or Jack of All Trades comes along, Middleman [along with my beloved Chuck! — BG] may have to occupy the ‘shamelessly embraces-its-own-dorkitude‘ slot.”)

Pee-wee Herman always knew what to say. He never screwed up — he totally “meant to do that!” And there’s just no arguing with “I know you are but what am I!?”

Plus: if you exclaimed that you just love something, Pee-wee’d be all over it: “Well if you love it so much, why don’t you marry it?” In fact, in one episode of Pee-wee’s Playhouse, Pee-wee walked his own talk with a formal ceremony in which he wed a bowl of fruit salad. (What to give the happy couple for their fourth anniversary?)

Well, on that why-dontcha-marry-it tip, one woman may have Pee-wee beat. She became so enamored of the Berlin Wall after seeing “his” picture as a youth that she developed a childhood crush that eventually led to marriage. In her mind, at least. As the Telegraph reports, Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, 54, has finally come out about her “husband” and general attraction to inanimate objects (she prefers ’em long and slim, wouldn’t you know.) Apparently she and the Wall are quite loving and happy together, and have been for the past 29 years, which, it should be noted, is longer than most human-on-human marriages these days. But we just have to ask: is making conversation like talking to a … well, you know.

stopitstopitSTOPIT!

Happy Fourth of July, everyone!

Please enjoy these midsummer treats from BreakupGirl.net. Just please — says Breakup Mom — wear a hat. Unless you’re Paul.

• Breakup Girl’s Magic Beach Ball!
• BG’s advice on summer love
• New tricks for the dog days: hot summer dates
• BBQ how-to
• BG’s European Vacation
• Independence Day! All about moving on / being sunnily single
• Watermelon.

If you’re looking for fireworks in your backyard and your bedroom this Fourth of July, perhaps you should eat an extra slice (or ten) of watermelon. According to a new study, the phyto-nutrients found in watermelon include lycopene, beta carotene — and the “lovely” citrulline, proven to have a calming, Viagra-esque effect on blood vessels. Inconveniently, citrulline is most prevalent in the rind, so be careful not to hurt your teeth.

“We’ve always known that watermelon is good for you, but the list of its very important healthful benefits grows longer with each study,” said Dr. Bhimu Patil, a scientist involved with the study. Did he just say “grows longer?”

In a society where even the most outgoing of girls succumb to insecurity by their teenage years, it’s difficult to find young female models of confidence and integrity in our popular culture. The New York Times recently explained this struggle best: “Who are you supposed to be, or to avoid becoming? A nerd? A ditz? A flirt? A tomboy? What kind of role models are those make-believe princesses, those Bratz and Barbies, to say nothing of the real-life Britneys, Lindsays and Mileys? Mean Girls, Gossip Girls, Girls Gone Wild, Girl Power, You go, girl! What’s a girl to do?”

It turns out girls need look no further than the silver screen for their answer. In the midst of a summer dominated by hulking male superhero flicks, the American Girl global-domination industrial complex franchise has released their first feature film, “Kit Kittredge.” (more…)

Lady, That’s My Skull is our favorite blog that combines kitschy comics history and all things Sleestak. Here’s a delightful time-capsule from the Fifties that they uncovered recently…

In this tale torn from real life, secretarial pool-member Kathy shows the office skanks that predatory slutting around is not the only way to trap a man into giving up his freedom.

Read the rest at Lady, That’s My Skull…

BG’s alter ego is on vacation for two weeks, so we’re gonna be running with a skeleton crew around here. You’ll see see the (brand! new! world! premiere!) comics here on Mondays, plus MSN.com columns & commentary on Tuesdays — plus assorted other goodies here and there from Chris and the blogging team — and we’ll be back up at full steam the week of June 29. And in the meantime, as always, you can meander through our vast stores of advice, comics, animation, and much, much more (don’t forget BG’s Magic Beach Ball!)

Hope everyone’s enjoying the summer!

Take that, Jake Ryan!