MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you can find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week Lynn responds to To Tell Or Not To Tell who has a crush on a guy at the gym…

Being painfully shy, I asked a friend what to do next. She volunteered to visit the gym with me and give me her opinion about Scott, acting as a “lookout” to see if he seemed interested in me, too. Unfortunately, she thought he was pretty great because she gave him her number the same day and they ended up dating for two weeks.

She had written him off, but running into him at the gym again, she feels the crush rekindling. What, if anything, should she do? (And, yo, what about the “friend?”) Read the full saga with extended rock climbing metaphors at Happen, then comment below!

My heart will go on past March 23, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

Why is it that every time you treat a guy like he is a decent, civilized human being he turns out to be a monster? And whenever you treat him like crap he is down on his knees begging for your love and care? I really wonder: will we good, nice, decent girls ever find that sort of guy who cares and really would sacrifice his favorite TV show for us (let alone sacrifice his life like in “Titanic”)?

— Lost White Lilly

Dear Lilly,

Guys! Hello! “Titanic” is a movie! Not real life! I mean come on, do you think that big strong boat really would have sunk so easily? Puuuuuure fiction.

Oh, wait.

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MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you can find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week Lynn tries to comfort a girl who is Confused and Hurt. She is not a virgin herself, but her boyfriend said he was. That is, until he finally admitted that she wasn’t his first. (Confusing!)

I even told him from the beginning that it was very important that we know about each other’s sexual histories. Honesty is a big deal to me in our relationship, and I feel he has lied to me about the biggest possible thing.

(Hurtful!) Is she overreacting? Can we even understand why he lied? Just go read the letter at Happen, then come back here to comment on sex, lies, and virginitygate.

I cannot lie to you. This is not the first time we’ve covered this letter. You see, about 12 months ago, MSN and I did it. Check out the comments here.

The Curse of the Friend-Boy continues on March 23, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

Hi, I just replaced the phone after a two-hour conversation in which the subject was “male bashing” (perhaps you know of it). My “girl”-friend had just been told by her steady that he had only wanted her for one thing (take a guess). Yes, I was as disgusted as she was and it set me thinking. I am used by a lot of people as a comfort from the tough times and although I am not unhappy, I am sick of hearing about all guys being chauvinistic pigs who look for one thing in life. I have gone out with two girls for a grand total of four days and after both, I was given the good old friends line. I know this is similar to other letters, but it is slightly different. I am not bad looking, I have a decent sense of humor, and consider myself romantic (flowers, candy, letters). The problem is, no one wants to accept me as more than a friend. I don’t see what my problem is. Although I am used as a stuffed toy when times are tough, it is not a position I would change for the world. Why is it that a) all the women around me seem to make the same mistakes even though I warn them, and b) How do I get over that “friends” line? It destroys me inside, and leaves me feeling inadequate as a guy, but more like a used tissue. What can I do to make myself appealing? Should I change or accept the fact that I will only ever be a friend?

Thank you kindly for all your help.
— Unlucky in Love

Dear Unlucky,

Everything I said before, plus a few points:

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MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you can find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week Lynn responds to a woman aptly named Lost. She’s a woman that’s going places, stuck in a relationship that’s going nowhere:

We have fought constantly … and every time we fight we break up. He decides that he can’t handle what’s going on and tries to blame me. He is going to be 30 and yet can’t seem to get a grip on what he wants in life. I do not think that he appreciates me.

After dating for five years how can she break away? Read Lynn’s advice at Happen, then share your own stories below!

An ancient evil resurfaces on March 23, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I have a problem with not wanting to hurt anyone, even at my own expense. I know I must bite the bullet and break off clean rather than drag/lead on a relationship after it’s gone sour. I become what the girl wants me to be and when I want to be myself she thinks I’m going psycho when in reality I was just a facade to her in the first place. I guess I just have to learn to be myself first and find a girl who likes me for me and not who they want me to be. In a way I guess I don’t really have a question, I just needed to talk. Thanks BG. I really appreciate your ears.

Love,
A Hopless Romantic at Purdue

P.S. I also am a classic case of “nice guys finish last.” I don’t drink or smoke (anything) and I’m waiting until I’m married to have sex.

I do have a question after all. All of my relationships have lasted over two years. I’m now trying to find one that I can be myself in but every woman I know says does this just before I ask them on a date. They give me a big hug and say, Sometimes I’m even told that I’m their best friend. Yet some seem to flirt with me anyway, but when I ask them on a date they are always busy. I have 100s of great female friends and not a single romantic one. Minus one clinging vine that I have to cut loose. We broke up four months ago and she still thinks we are going to get married. (I feel like Wayne in “Wayne’s World” with Stacey.) My question is this. If a girl says “You are such a great friend,” should I give up on a romantic relationship or do women just get kicks out of confusing men? Thanks again.

Dear Hopeless Romantic,

No, thank YOU. You — along with your brethren all over the world who share this same waking nightmare — have provided me with one of the best articulations I’ve ever seen of

The Curse of the Friend-Boy.

First of all, OUCH. They hug you too? Yeesh. That adds insult to intimacy. Who knew niceness could be so harsh?

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MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you can find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week Lynn writes an assured response to Not Sure, who is not having sex with her boyfriend anymore:

I told him I was happy with our love life when I wasn’t. Then, when I was drunk a few weeks ago, I told him the truth—that his stamina was terrible.

Ouch. Is there anything she can she say to regain intimacy with him? Read the lengthy response at Happen, then come back here to comment!

A game of telephone on March 16, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

About a year ago, an old male friend moved back to town. We quickly became best friends. Our feelings toward each other changed and we began dating, then he lost his job. The dating stopped. We remained close friends until we got in a fight about us dating, and haven’t spoken in four months. Now, his brother is calling me, wanting to know details about my personal life. I think my friend is up to it, but feel that he should be the one calling me. My best friend disagrees and says that I should tell his brother how I feel. What do you think?

— Joanna

Dear Joanna,

Tell the brother nothing. Except maybe if you want to just happen to let it slip that you are currently succesful and satisfied in all areas of your life. And also that you got that way as a result of having unlocked the secret to the universe, which is: mind and conduct your own business.

Love,
Breakup Girl

MSN.com, Match.com, HappenMagazine.com: they’re in a healthy and satisfying 3-way relationship. Meaning that you can find MSN/Match.com’s “Ask Lynn” columns –penned by BG’s alter ego — over at Happen now as well.

This week Lynn helps Edgy in Erie, a gal living with, and raising her kids with, a guy who has not fully extricated himself from his unhappy marriage. Namely:

1. He hasn’t followed through with the divorce.
2. He has cheated on me with her.
3. He talks to her often and seems overly concerned with the goings-on of her life (beyond kid-related things).

After three years, does this guy need understanding, or a kick in the pants? Read the full letter — and Lynn’s response — at Happen, then comment below!

Ending things improperly on March 16, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I want to end my marriage, but I don’t know how to tell him. Is it fair to write him a letter or should I tell him in person?

— Kat

Dear Kat,

Rule of thumb: unseal the deal the same way that you sealed it. Choose the medium that matches and honors the relationship. If you met online — and have conducted your relationship entirely online — then (and only then) can you break up online.You may use the telephone to tell your Psychic that you just want to be Friends. But I’m guessing that you two are more than…pen pals. So, yeah, you’re going to have to do the deed face to face. BUT. If you don’t trust yourself to remain coherent, and you have some key points to get across and set in stone, definitely go ahead and write them down. Then either start the conversation with the letter, or submit it as a “handout” during or after. Good luck. And please spell-check.

Love,
Breakup Girl