Math moment, brought to you in easy-to-understand cartoon format: Don’t date anyone under (your age/2 + 7).

(Quoth our tipster: “Last night at the bar some friends and I tried to figure out the upper limit of that formula. We decided it was somewhere between 60-70. A 60-year-old dating a 37-year-old wasn’t too creepy…but maybe a 70-year-old dating a 42-year-old is. It is all arbitrary and relative, I suppose — exposing our own ‘ageist’ perceptions?”)

Here, your weekly installment of Ask Lynn, BG’s alter ego’s column at MSN.com (powered by Match.com). This week — continuing on the theme of hope — we meet A Hopeful Dreamer, who has been waiting, like, forever, to ask this girl out. The problem? She’s always been with someone else. Now — yeehaw! — she’s just broken up with her boyfriend of two-plus years. So AHD wants to know: when is it cool to ask her out? Now? Now? Okay, how about now?

But really, you see the problem: ask her too soon, and he’s doing the old HEARD YOU GUYS BROKE UP SO SORRY opportunistic swoop (or is he?) — or just setting himself up as Mr. Rebound. But ask her too late and he’s … too late. Read the letter and response to find out when Lynn gives the green light — and then come back here to comment!

Sometimes people take one look at the name of this website, see the words “breakup” and “.net,” and — without a further glance — think, “Oh! That must be a place that encourages the posting of vengeful, personal, and possibly actionable rants about their exes!” Nope, sorry. That’s YouTube.

Having second thoughts on January 9, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,
If you do dump him, then realize it was a bad idea, how do you ask him back out without letting him think that he has you wrapped arounnd his finger?
— Just Curious

Dear Just Curious,
Here’s how: pick up the phone, dial all but one digit of his number, hang up the phone, and wait two weeks. Why? IMPORTANT BREAKUP GIRL MAXIM: having lingering feelings for an ex does not necessarily mean the breakup was a “bad idea.” It just means you kinda sorta miss someone that you had some good times with. If you really, rationally think that you want another chance (and you have at least two friends who endorse this decision), then after two weeks, you may actually call him and ask him out. Once. Casually. If he says no, let him go.
Love,
Breakup Girl

Another quickie from January 9, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,
I have a great guy, but he is known to play girls. He’s going to Las Vegas and I’m afraid he’s gonna cheat. He said he won’t — is he for real?
— Air-N

Dear Air-N,
Vegas? Girl, you’re the one who’s gambling.
Love,
Breakup Girl

A quickie from January 9, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,
How do you ask someone out?
— Ms. Apodaca

Dear Ms. Apodaca,
The real question is, “What do you wear to ask someone out?” And the answer is: your ultra-protective Pride suit (think “Outbreak,” or the end of “E.T.”). Zip it up, and pop the question. If the answer’s yes, great. But if the answer’s no, you’re covered — your suit won’t let it get under your skin. Right?
Love,
Breakup Girl

Wanting it all on January 9, 1998 …

Dear Breakup Girl,
My “friend” lives in Seattle, I live in St. Louis. I was dating another fellow here, but he broke up with me when I went to visit the guy in Seattle. Problem is, I see the Seattle one only about every six months. I don’t have any commitment from him. So how can I start dating someone in St. Louis and not have them break up with me when I want to see my friend in Seattle? It’s very lonely waiting and not knowing when I will see my Seattle friend.
— Becca

Dear Becca,
Lose Seattle Boy, pronto. All he has to offer you is sleeplessness, heartache, and a great cup of coffee once every six months. Right now you are trying to have two cakes and eat them both — but you’re really getting crumbs of dry, day-old biscotti that aren’t worth it the first place. You will be much less lonely without Seattle, because you will be free — actually and emotionally — to meet St. Louis.
Love,
Breakup Girl

Here, your weekly installment of Ask Lynn, BG’s alter ego’s column at MSN.com (powered by Match.com). This week, we meet “Hopeful, Yet Hopeless.” (Hmm! That sounds promising, yet not.)

So HYH has this friend. They’ve got “so much in common,” and they’re even attracted to each other. Cue: the catch! There’s a 15-year age difference (check the letter to find out which way), and neither of them is Ashton Kutcher. But how much should age matter here — and is it really the issue in the first place? Which side of the “Yet” should HYH be on? Read the letter and response for the deets, and then come back here to comment!

You’ve got a friend on January 9, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,
How do you comfort your best friend when her live-in boyfriend dumped her after seven years?
–Confused

Dear Confused,
Bless your heart for asking. But you should really ask her: What do you need? What can I get for you? Do you want to talk about it, or do you want some distraction? When should I just leave you alone? Would you like a spoon for that? Don’t tell her you know what she’s going through; don’t offer unsolicited analyses of “what went wrong;” don’t go out with her boyfriend. Let her call the shots — just do your best to let her know that you, unlike certain people, will always be there for her.
Love,
Breakup Girl

Here, your weekly installment of Ask Lynn, BG’s alter ego’s column at MSN.com (powered by Match.com). This week, we meet “A Little Worn Out,” who has hit the all-important three-month mark with her online man. (Yes, seems they’ve actually met in person.) That’s the good news. Here’s the less good: she happened (not “happened”) to notice that his profile, three months in, was still active. And that he’d recently been online.

Crap.

Of course, her fella could have logged in in order to show off “Worn Out” to his mother. Right? Hello? Anyone?

Or … crap. What should she do? Read Lynn’s response, and then come back here to comment!